Oh No!

I am in a state of numb shock. In the course of moving from windows to mac, I forgot that I had to get a few things. I couldn't read my files because I didn't have Office on my Mac, so I had to get it. Well, while in pursuit of a word processor, my external hard drive decided to give out on me. I found out later that there was some big technical problem where, although the hard drive normally runs something that supports Windows, OS X, and Linux, at some point my hard drive tried to re-format because of some file sharing something or other, which made it incompatible with my new computer, and I had to re format that hard drive. At first, I just thought a bunch of video that I'd stored on there was gone, but then I realized, with some horror, that all of my writing was also on there. All gone. I felt stupid, shamed, lazy... I could have prevented it all my emailing everything to myself so that my writing would be stored outside of my own hard drives. I could have just pulled all the files onto my new computer just in case something happened to my hard drive -which I would have done if I'd ever thought something would happen to my hard drive. Now, the prospect of writing seems so pointless. How could I let this happen? I don't think I could have been as big an idiot if I'd tried. I'm trying to calm myself by thinking that starting from scratch can do nothing but help, but I had actually outlined a show I wanted to write. I had been working hard on writing short stories, essays... it just really sucks right now, but I couldn't go to sleep until I got it off my chest. Okay, Good night.