Thursday, April 07, 2005

High Tide Update

As you may have read in the comments for this post, I was made aware of a director willing to tackle the great think piece that is High Tide. Recognizing the quality of my work, though not the content of my character, he agreed to make this work. However, I was made aware through courier that all of my hide tide of hopes would be helplessly dashed against the rocks. I will print the letter in its entirety.

Dear Mrs. This Girl,
I regret to inform you that I must opt out of directing your brilliant film about the certainly upcoming earthquakes that lead to whales being on the top of the food chain.
Though I am a fan of your work, I have been offered the chance to write, direct, and co-star in a similar film and do not wish to be typecast.
It is called "Killah Whales" and it's by the good people at Paramount, so it has a HUGE budget. In the film, a melting glacier causes the ocean to rise and flood an experimental nuclear facility during whale mating season. The result is a school of mutated whales that are no longer forced to reside in the ocean and have a blood lust against humanity. Some have legs but the deadliest is a Blue Whale who mutated wings and flys around like a dragon eating people and drowning whole towns in plankton rich ocean water. The only hope for humanity is a brilliant scientist (Will Smith) who now teaches math to inner city school kids after giving up on science after NASA used his work against his will to eliminate a race of Aliens living on the dark side of the moon. Can the only people that know the whale's secret, a lowly Coast Guard worker (Dennis Quaid) and his homosexual life partner (Ice Cube) convince the scientist to help? KILLAH WHALES: THIS SUMMER WE'RE THE ENDANGERED SPECIES.
Clearly I cannot turn this wonderful project down.
Best of Luck,

Great minds are thinking alike. Of course, I am terribly devastated that I will not get to make my movie, having no budget, no director, no actors, and no talent for special effects. I could have artful drawings for you to see, but I am not technologically advanced enough to show them to you. Maybe my next movie idea, a mocumentary of the Surreal Life, will come to fruition.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's so unlike Paramount to make a movie that's not a sequel or a remake...

This Girl said...

yet it's happening...