The road to salvation is paved with as many good intentions as the road to hell.
Basically, if you answer yes to a series of questions asked to you by a pastor, you are saved. With less than one year of church under my belt, I was answering yes because I knew that's what I was supposed to do. My mother, at that point, was gentle. She was in love with Jesus. It made her more loving herself, more understanding, more patient. She was, in deed and action, the best her that I'd ever seen. Even dad saw it, and at the time, he didn't see much past what he wanted to see. Jesus was powerful and we witnessed that power.
My home had not been the best place to grow up. I held resentment for many years because of that environment. Jesus Christ came in and changed my home environment. In that first year alone, we had a peace I had never experienced, a home that I was ready to go back to. I didn't have to stay late after school coming up with reasons to delay my journey. I could go home.
To say anything more would be telling the stories of those who should reveal their secrets themselves. But I want you to understand that when I say that Jesus changed everything, I mean everything.
As much as I wanted those changes to happen in me, something was off and it stayed off for a long time. I went to college, I studied more, I read stories that had some of the same accounts as the Bible and when I read them, instead of thinking that every society had their stories, I read them as validating what I was told in the Bible.
I began to have a personal relationship with God, who I had been taught for the past two years, when I was 19. It was during the summer after my first year. I'd gone to visit Cleveland, the home of the guy I was dating, for a few weeks before returning home. When I got home, I realized that all the resources I thought I had for school, I really didn't. So I spent a lot of time praying to the God I only knew of in word. One night, I finally broke down before God and said that I had nothing to offer and no reason to get what I prayed for, but that I knew none of that mattered if God wanted to bless me. I fell asleep in my tears and woke up the next day to answered prayer. God wanted to bless me and had. My gratefulness knew no bounds. That was the first time God communicated with me on a level that was nothing short of miraculous. It was the first time I actually felt the peace of God that so many people had spoken of. It filled me and became me and suddenly, I truly did not think as I once did or see as I once saw.
That's when I started to believe God could do anything and He wanted me along for the ride.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Church
When I was a little girl, I always wanted to go to church. Oh, we did the occasional Easter, me and my sister dressed in finery and lacy socks with black patent leather shoes, the boys uncomfortable in suits and clip on ties with shoes they would outgrow before the day was over.
When we moved, the summer after 6th grade, we moved to a house. Across the street from that house was a church. We never visited that church. I wanted to, longed to. On the times I actually woke up early on Sunday, I would sit and watch all the people go in. I was doing two forbidden things. Sitting in the living room and longing for church when it was not welcomed in our house.
I don't know if church began to grow in my mind from there. As I grew older and treasured my sleep, I was glad that we didn't do anything like that. When I could hide in bed reading on a Sunday afternoon instead of sweating it out in a service that didn't end until 3pm, I was grateful for our stance.
When I was 17, something happened. I don't know what happened, but suddenly, we were going to church. We went to the church that my dad's family had gone to for so long. Initially, we were welcomed with open arms. I approached church the same way I approached school. Learn as much as possible. Know more than anybody else. After all, this Bible was simply a book and what did I know better than anyone at my school? Books. So, in Sunday School, I knew every answer, read every assignment. Nothing was esoteric. Everything had a right or wrong answer. We played Bible Jeopardy and no one wanted to play against me, except the foolish people who had once dominated or the older people who thought they knew. They didn't know me. I won. I always won. Mothers wanted their daughters to look up to me. Mothers wanted their sons to marry me. I was a paragon and I was a fraud.
The day I was baptized, dressed in the white clothes, a towel over my hair, making a public statement that I had accepted Jesus into my heart, I was fervently praying that I had, in fact, accepted Christ into my heart. I took my dunking with grace, eyes closed, breath held, praying that when I came up, I would be different.
I was not. Everyone cheered and I went on perpetuating the fraud. And the more of a fraud I was, the more I saw it in others around me. We knew what we were doing. We were pretenders. We didn't know what else to do. We understood the Bible, we understood what had to happen, we just didn't know how it would happen to us. We holed up in our enclave of intellectual belief, hoping that one day, the love of Christ would grow in our hearts and we set to work convincing ourselves that, in fact, it had.
It would be two years before I actually understood what it meant to be saved.
When we moved, the summer after 6th grade, we moved to a house. Across the street from that house was a church. We never visited that church. I wanted to, longed to. On the times I actually woke up early on Sunday, I would sit and watch all the people go in. I was doing two forbidden things. Sitting in the living room and longing for church when it was not welcomed in our house.
I don't know if church began to grow in my mind from there. As I grew older and treasured my sleep, I was glad that we didn't do anything like that. When I could hide in bed reading on a Sunday afternoon instead of sweating it out in a service that didn't end until 3pm, I was grateful for our stance.
When I was 17, something happened. I don't know what happened, but suddenly, we were going to church. We went to the church that my dad's family had gone to for so long. Initially, we were welcomed with open arms. I approached church the same way I approached school. Learn as much as possible. Know more than anybody else. After all, this Bible was simply a book and what did I know better than anyone at my school? Books. So, in Sunday School, I knew every answer, read every assignment. Nothing was esoteric. Everything had a right or wrong answer. We played Bible Jeopardy and no one wanted to play against me, except the foolish people who had once dominated or the older people who thought they knew. They didn't know me. I won. I always won. Mothers wanted their daughters to look up to me. Mothers wanted their sons to marry me. I was a paragon and I was a fraud.
The day I was baptized, dressed in the white clothes, a towel over my hair, making a public statement that I had accepted Jesus into my heart, I was fervently praying that I had, in fact, accepted Christ into my heart. I took my dunking with grace, eyes closed, breath held, praying that when I came up, I would be different.
I was not. Everyone cheered and I went on perpetuating the fraud. And the more of a fraud I was, the more I saw it in others around me. We knew what we were doing. We were pretenders. We didn't know what else to do. We understood the Bible, we understood what had to happen, we just didn't know how it would happen to us. We holed up in our enclave of intellectual belief, hoping that one day, the love of Christ would grow in our hearts and we set to work convincing ourselves that, in fact, it had.
It would be two years before I actually understood what it meant to be saved.
What Can I Say?
Not much.
In a way, this has been a great holiday. I haven't worked since December 21st. I will go in for a bit tomorrow, but for the most part, I am off until Jan. 3. Our Christmas presents are ones we will open later. We saw some family, we saw some shows, we are planning on spending NYE listening to some bands in Atlanta and then hanging out with another couple - ice skating on Jan. 1.
I turn 32 on Jan. 2.
Last year, on Thanksgiving Day, my uncle Freddie told me that he had "a spot on his lung". Of course, having anything on the lungs is not a good thing. He told me not to worry. I saw him for Christmas and then, as I was planning to see him again (I usually go for my birthday, but I missed a couple of weeks), the day before I was going to head there (I had to plan my free time then), I got a call from my aunt telling me that he was dead.
What the hell??? I felt like I walked around in a cloud of confusion and I pushed the anger and sadness to the back of my mind. I hated going to sleep because when you're laying there in the dark, the only thoughts that come are the ones you spend the whole day pushing back.
This Thanksgiving, we decided that we were going to stay home for the first time, celebrating Thanksgiving as a family instead of shuffling between our families. So we make our phone calls and when I talk to my dad, he sounds like someone thought it would be fun to stump on his throat. I tell him he sounds horrible and I hope he's going to the doctor. I'm joking but I know. Even then, I know even though I know my dad would never tell me. The Wednesday after Thanksgiving, a day after his doctor appointment, my aunt called me to let me know that he had throat cancer. The kind caused by smoking and drinking for most of your life. Stage 4, caught late. I want to have hope, but I'm a worse case scenario person.
A tracheotomy, 3 of 5-7 days in the hospital, and disillusionment of my mother later, we are looking at a long haul for my dad. Chemotherapy, radiation, possibly losing his voicebox, and depending on the biopsy of the tumor, a few months to live. To my family, I only talk about the best case scenario. In a few days, we'll all know.
I don't know how I feel. I don't want comforting words. This isn't that type of post. This is just an update, this is what's been going on. It's not an easy thing for you to read or for me to write, but there it is.
In a way, this has been a great holiday. I haven't worked since December 21st. I will go in for a bit tomorrow, but for the most part, I am off until Jan. 3. Our Christmas presents are ones we will open later. We saw some family, we saw some shows, we are planning on spending NYE listening to some bands in Atlanta and then hanging out with another couple - ice skating on Jan. 1.
I turn 32 on Jan. 2.
Last year, on Thanksgiving Day, my uncle Freddie told me that he had "a spot on his lung". Of course, having anything on the lungs is not a good thing. He told me not to worry. I saw him for Christmas and then, as I was planning to see him again (I usually go for my birthday, but I missed a couple of weeks), the day before I was going to head there (I had to plan my free time then), I got a call from my aunt telling me that he was dead.
What the hell??? I felt like I walked around in a cloud of confusion and I pushed the anger and sadness to the back of my mind. I hated going to sleep because when you're laying there in the dark, the only thoughts that come are the ones you spend the whole day pushing back.
This Thanksgiving, we decided that we were going to stay home for the first time, celebrating Thanksgiving as a family instead of shuffling between our families. So we make our phone calls and when I talk to my dad, he sounds like someone thought it would be fun to stump on his throat. I tell him he sounds horrible and I hope he's going to the doctor. I'm joking but I know. Even then, I know even though I know my dad would never tell me. The Wednesday after Thanksgiving, a day after his doctor appointment, my aunt called me to let me know that he had throat cancer. The kind caused by smoking and drinking for most of your life. Stage 4, caught late. I want to have hope, but I'm a worse case scenario person.
A tracheotomy, 3 of 5-7 days in the hospital, and disillusionment of my mother later, we are looking at a long haul for my dad. Chemotherapy, radiation, possibly losing his voicebox, and depending on the biopsy of the tumor, a few months to live. To my family, I only talk about the best case scenario. In a few days, we'll all know.
I don't know how I feel. I don't want comforting words. This isn't that type of post. This is just an update, this is what's been going on. It's not an easy thing for you to read or for me to write, but there it is.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
L'Italia, qui vengo!
That's Babelfish English to Italian for "Italy, here I come!"
I am going to Italy, and if the price is right, I might also get to go to Paris. The next three months, I will be teaching myself Italian, saving every extra penny I make, working to make sure I have extra pennies by trying to get more work, etc.
Advice from The Honey, who won't be going... "Have fun in Italy. Don't fall for any Italian men. You know they're all criminals." "'Cause they're in the Mafia?" I ask. "Yes. Me, I paint with a broad brush. My brush covers all of Italy."
He didn't, however, say anything about Parisian men.
It is officially Christmas day. We are watching 24 hours of A Christmas Story. The Honey says, "You're going to watch this every Christmas, aren't you?" "Until they stop showing it," I respond. "And then, when they stop, you're going to complain about it on your blog."
That man knows me so well.
Merry Christmas, all!
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Hello God, Do You Remember Me?
Sometimes, I wonder what God remembers about our first moment of understanding him. Not that typical religious moment, or the moment when people first know one of his names, but that one moment of clarity when we who choose to believe in him first do, before the dogma and the tradition ruin what little of God we come to understand.
I think back to my first encounter with God. My first understanding of an encounter with God. I had to have been like 4 or 5 years old and my mama was reading to me from the big blue Bible Stories book, that book you see advertised in dentists' and doctors' offices all over the US. She was reading to me about God asking Abraham to sacrifice his only son, but I thought it said "oldest one" and so I wondered when God was going to ask my mama to sacrifice me to him. I think I lived in fear and trepidation for like two days, always looking skyward, wondering if he asked if she would and if she did, would he provide a ram for me? In the end, I just kind of said, "You better not ask my mama to sacrifice me!" and God and I had a tentatively good relationship. It wasn't bogged down with doing right, although I believe some of that former fear took up residence with God.
It's hard to explain, but I will try, for my own sake, to do so. There are many voices in my head. those of you who know me know this to be true. I don't know how many of you have had me ask you about something you said only to have it be a made up dialogue I've concocted. Well, in there amongst all the voices is God, sitting back, speaking every now and then, nudging every now and then and, for a long time, I enjoyed him there. But after a while, as life grew more hectic and I grew less free, I forgot he was there and moved through life with only that still, small voice speaking only occasionally.
As I grew, though, the thought and idea of God never left me. People say that we all have a "God shaped hole" in our hearts and our search for truth is a search for him. Maybe that's true. But the enjoyment of God in my head lead me to read more about God (god, gods, Allah, Zeus, Thor, Krishna, etc.) and that's when the idea of religion crept in.
I think back to my first encounter with God. My first understanding of an encounter with God. I had to have been like 4 or 5 years old and my mama was reading to me from the big blue Bible Stories book, that book you see advertised in dentists' and doctors' offices all over the US. She was reading to me about God asking Abraham to sacrifice his only son, but I thought it said "oldest one" and so I wondered when God was going to ask my mama to sacrifice me to him. I think I lived in fear and trepidation for like two days, always looking skyward, wondering if he asked if she would and if she did, would he provide a ram for me? In the end, I just kind of said, "You better not ask my mama to sacrifice me!" and God and I had a tentatively good relationship. It wasn't bogged down with doing right, although I believe some of that former fear took up residence with God.
It's hard to explain, but I will try, for my own sake, to do so. There are many voices in my head. those of you who know me know this to be true. I don't know how many of you have had me ask you about something you said only to have it be a made up dialogue I've concocted. Well, in there amongst all the voices is God, sitting back, speaking every now and then, nudging every now and then and, for a long time, I enjoyed him there. But after a while, as life grew more hectic and I grew less free, I forgot he was there and moved through life with only that still, small voice speaking only occasionally.
As I grew, though, the thought and idea of God never left me. People say that we all have a "God shaped hole" in our hearts and our search for truth is a search for him. Maybe that's true. But the enjoyment of God in my head lead me to read more about God (god, gods, Allah, Zeus, Thor, Krishna, etc.) and that's when the idea of religion crept in.
Starting Over
It's that time of year, the time when an old girl's fancy turns to age.
I'll be 32 in a couple of weeks and a few days. I'm not really sure what to do with that.
So, it's time for things to happen. We (the Honey and I) are in a growing phase of our lives, where everything as we know it has been turned on its head and we are rolling with some punches, making new plans and solidfying the ones we are keeping. It's not a rollercoaster, it's more like the Dumbo ride.
**********************************
So, starting over means more than just a few words here and there. It means I have things to do, places to go and stories to write about it. First off, I'm going to Italy. Now, when I say I'm going to Italy, I mean, I barely have enough for plane fare (and that is supplemented by my very, very, very, very smart little sister whose 4.0 GPA earned us an extra $1000 to use on our trip) and I have stopped crocheting my scarf long enough to write this blog. Yes, crocheting a scarf so that I can sell it for whatever I can make to add to my trip. And The Honey is being a really good sport about the idea of me going to Italy, but I know he wants to go to. It just, what's the easiest way to make $3000 in 2 months that doesn't include nude dancing or finding Robert Redford? I'm lining up a couple of jobs... I can work 3 hours a night at minimum wage as a janitor for approximately $60 bucks a week after taxes. I wanted to make about $100 extra dollars a week (not including what I make writing) to help with this little trip. But what I make writing and any extra I make would just pay for me. I'd have to write double what I'm writing now and The Honey and I together make $200 a week to supplement his going on the trip as well. I would say I'd pray about it, but that's another story in itself that will be told in bits and pieces in a remembering sort of way.
I feel a little bit like Italy will be about me finding myself. I know that sounds trite and kind of 21 year old angsty, but it's true. There are a lot of things I want to understand and it is hard to understand those things in the midst of the bustle of life. It's not impossible. I don't need Italy for that, but my dream has always been to go to Europe. Italy, and just outside of Rome, is a good enough place as any to start. We may even fly into Paris so that we see France and Italy. To be able to grab that dream when it was offered... it's amazing. I have an amazing husband who would sacrifice his time with me and his wish to be there as well to see my dreams take place.
Okay, so enough smarmy.
The house we live in now, I love it. The one thing it has that is in part cool and in part very irritating is the scary house lights. When you turn on the lights in this house, they flicker on, as if you were watching a scary movie and the lights got doused in water and now you're watching them flicker, expecting to see the killer or his shadow right in front of you. Very creepy. Oh, I know it's some technical name for why it does that, having to do with temperature and something that reminds me of striking a lighter, but for right now, it is a neat way to be greeted by your house.
I'll be 32 in a couple of weeks and a few days. I'm not really sure what to do with that.
So, it's time for things to happen. We (the Honey and I) are in a growing phase of our lives, where everything as we know it has been turned on its head and we are rolling with some punches, making new plans and solidfying the ones we are keeping. It's not a rollercoaster, it's more like the Dumbo ride.
**********************************
So, starting over means more than just a few words here and there. It means I have things to do, places to go and stories to write about it. First off, I'm going to Italy. Now, when I say I'm going to Italy, I mean, I barely have enough for plane fare (and that is supplemented by my very, very, very, very smart little sister whose 4.0 GPA earned us an extra $1000 to use on our trip) and I have stopped crocheting my scarf long enough to write this blog. Yes, crocheting a scarf so that I can sell it for whatever I can make to add to my trip. And The Honey is being a really good sport about the idea of me going to Italy, but I know he wants to go to. It just, what's the easiest way to make $3000 in 2 months that doesn't include nude dancing or finding Robert Redford? I'm lining up a couple of jobs... I can work 3 hours a night at minimum wage as a janitor for approximately $60 bucks a week after taxes. I wanted to make about $100 extra dollars a week (not including what I make writing) to help with this little trip. But what I make writing and any extra I make would just pay for me. I'd have to write double what I'm writing now and The Honey and I together make $200 a week to supplement his going on the trip as well. I would say I'd pray about it, but that's another story in itself that will be told in bits and pieces in a remembering sort of way.
I feel a little bit like Italy will be about me finding myself. I know that sounds trite and kind of 21 year old angsty, but it's true. There are a lot of things I want to understand and it is hard to understand those things in the midst of the bustle of life. It's not impossible. I don't need Italy for that, but my dream has always been to go to Europe. Italy, and just outside of Rome, is a good enough place as any to start. We may even fly into Paris so that we see France and Italy. To be able to grab that dream when it was offered... it's amazing. I have an amazing husband who would sacrifice his time with me and his wish to be there as well to see my dreams take place.
Okay, so enough smarmy.
The house we live in now, I love it. The one thing it has that is in part cool and in part very irritating is the scary house lights. When you turn on the lights in this house, they flicker on, as if you were watching a scary movie and the lights got doused in water and now you're watching them flicker, expecting to see the killer or his shadow right in front of you. Very creepy. Oh, I know it's some technical name for why it does that, having to do with temperature and something that reminds me of striking a lighter, but for right now, it is a neat way to be greeted by your house.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
I Have A Lot To Say
I just don't know why I can't write it.
It should be easy.
Maybe tomorrow, words will come.
Well, lots of words are coming, I just don't know how to put them together in the best way for this medium.
I want to be funny, but all I ever am is the Straight (wo)man. I want to write about the funny things, but really, all that comes out is... what is about to follow in the next couple of days. It's like I have some sort of writing plague and instead of funny, drama comes out. Drama comes leaping out of my mouth like slimy frogs.
Slimy, ugly frogs.
Oh, believe me, I know some people are going through drama. I almost have to invent my drama... almost. Believe me, it's real, it's just almost completely unnecessary for you to see me through it. But you will.
Because I need the switch to come on. That elusive switch that just isn't appearing for me now. I long for that click, my shoulders on edge hoping that with each letter my fingers strike, with each realization and revelation, I will reach the switch nirvana and it will be flicked and that audible click will be so refreshing that I will be forced to describe that click in great detail.
You know you want me to.
So, hold on to your hats 5 internet readers, you faithful dears who have loved me and stood by me even if I was a crappy friend or even if you don't know me and still hand around in hopes that the Honey will finally start his blog up again (I think he might) or even if you had to because I told you I posted and waited as you checked your feeds on your phone to read every word I writ (not a typo, but prolly should be considered one). The ride is getting bumpy, the reads are getting longer, and the road is getting swervier. And maybe my thoughts will come back on me full circle. Maybe not. But for the first time... like EVER... I won't mind being wrong, because it really is all about the journey.
It should be easy.
Maybe tomorrow, words will come.
Well, lots of words are coming, I just don't know how to put them together in the best way for this medium.
I want to be funny, but all I ever am is the Straight (wo)man. I want to write about the funny things, but really, all that comes out is... what is about to follow in the next couple of days. It's like I have some sort of writing plague and instead of funny, drama comes out. Drama comes leaping out of my mouth like slimy frogs.
Slimy, ugly frogs.
Oh, believe me, I know some people are going through drama. I almost have to invent my drama... almost. Believe me, it's real, it's just almost completely unnecessary for you to see me through it. But you will.
Because I need the switch to come on. That elusive switch that just isn't appearing for me now. I long for that click, my shoulders on edge hoping that with each letter my fingers strike, with each realization and revelation, I will reach the switch nirvana and it will be flicked and that audible click will be so refreshing that I will be forced to describe that click in great detail.
You know you want me to.
So, hold on to your hats 5 internet readers, you faithful dears who have loved me and stood by me even if I was a crappy friend or even if you don't know me and still hand around in hopes that the Honey will finally start his blog up again (I think he might) or even if you had to because I told you I posted and waited as you checked your feeds on your phone to read every word I writ (not a typo, but prolly should be considered one). The ride is getting bumpy, the reads are getting longer, and the road is getting swervier. And maybe my thoughts will come back on me full circle. Maybe not. But for the first time... like EVER... I won't mind being wrong, because it really is all about the journey.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Worrying About Your Beard When You're About To Lose Your Head
So I'm finally watching The Seven Samurai. Oh my WORD the translation is awful, but the acting and the story is so... brilliant. Man, I love movies about honor. Most war movies have the distinction of being about honor, but I'm not the biggest fan of war movies, or so I tell myself. But as I watch this movie, its slow progression towards a bigger fight looming, I realize that there are a lot of war movies in my repertoire that I would watch again.
I don't like war movies. Movies and television provide escape. In those fantasy world, the characters that are compelling shouldn't die, but in war movies, they do. They always do.
Man, old movies kick new movies asses!
It is my nature and maybe I'm coming to see that it is the nature of many others, to worry about the little things in the face of something big. I guess we don't know what else to do when we feel so helpless. I'm not a "big picture" thinker. I think about right now. I think about the line I just wrote, I think about the thought in my head. I think about what I need to do tomorrow, but I don't see it all in one fell swoop, just waiting to be done so that I can orchestrate my actions. I hope it all works out in the end, that the sentences come together, that the work gets done, that I express myself to others in the right way. It's beyond me how to change that part of me. It's something I want to work on. I want to see it all and then orchestrate. I don't want to pick at the pieces anymore. I want to see the sculpture in the rock and chisel away the unnecessary parts.
I want to stop using metaphor, but I'm not just talking about one thing. I'm talking about an entire way of being. It's enough to give me a headache.
In other news, I am doing well as bassist and singer in the imaginary world of Rock Band, where "Angel", as I call myself, is taking the world by storm. I'm somewhere in Russia right now singing songs I didn't even know existed and trying to get more than 3 stars every time. I will hate to move to the hard level. And as much as I hate shopping, I love dressing my Rock Band character. Every time I win a new item for my wardrobe, I get just that much more excited about the game. Next, I'll create a character on the drums. Yes, I will have my own band soon. And I will ROCK!
I don't like war movies. Movies and television provide escape. In those fantasy world, the characters that are compelling shouldn't die, but in war movies, they do. They always do.
Man, old movies kick new movies asses!
It is my nature and maybe I'm coming to see that it is the nature of many others, to worry about the little things in the face of something big. I guess we don't know what else to do when we feel so helpless. I'm not a "big picture" thinker. I think about right now. I think about the line I just wrote, I think about the thought in my head. I think about what I need to do tomorrow, but I don't see it all in one fell swoop, just waiting to be done so that I can orchestrate my actions. I hope it all works out in the end, that the sentences come together, that the work gets done, that I express myself to others in the right way. It's beyond me how to change that part of me. It's something I want to work on. I want to see it all and then orchestrate. I don't want to pick at the pieces anymore. I want to see the sculpture in the rock and chisel away the unnecessary parts.
I want to stop using metaphor, but I'm not just talking about one thing. I'm talking about an entire way of being. It's enough to give me a headache.
In other news, I am doing well as bassist and singer in the imaginary world of Rock Band, where "Angel", as I call myself, is taking the world by storm. I'm somewhere in Russia right now singing songs I didn't even know existed and trying to get more than 3 stars every time. I will hate to move to the hard level. And as much as I hate shopping, I love dressing my Rock Band character. Every time I win a new item for my wardrobe, I get just that much more excited about the game. Next, I'll create a character on the drums. Yes, I will have my own band soon. And I will ROCK!
Monday, November 26, 2007
I Hope Jack Bauer Doesn't Blow Up the Internet
I wish exciting things happened to me. The most exciting thing that's happened to me is being anxious that I didn't make enough snacks for Cookie, Coffee, and Conversation time after church this past Sunday. Weren't we all relieved to find out I did. Make enough. Snacks.
Or the time Oprah came to town and stayed on the street I live on and how I couldn't drive and all the people driving by kept asking me (because I had to walk since cars kept blocking the street in front of the residence where Oprah stayed) if "SHE" was still here.
I think I always wanted to live a Jack Bauer life, but without the terrorists, nuclear explosions or Kim Raver.
For some reason, I've always wanted to have powers of some sort. When I was little, I thought I was a vampire. I have two pointy teeth at just the right points for those nifty vampire bites. I can say, "I want to bite your neck and suck your blood" in a better vampire voice than Bela Lugosi. My eyes hurt when I come in contact with direct sunlight... I mean, what else would you assume?
Of course, I turned 7 and I realized that it was possible vampires didn't exist. I mean, I wasn't fighting them off or anything, so I went on with my existence of hoping to become Bo Duke (I hadn't figured out I was supposed to be attracted to him yet) but my brothers and cousins kept making me be Daisy and I didn't want to play no girl! I wanted to be Bo. Not Luke, Bo!
I was kind of obstinate.
When I got a little older, I realized that I could play the girl parts in our games of fantasy. I wanted to be Wonder Woman or Storm although it was still well within my rights to be Spider Man or (with a good enough fight) Batman. If I couldn't have an actual science experiment gone wrong super power, then I wanted to at least be as inventive as Batman.
Of course, when we were kids, we wanted our powers for such lofty goals as saving the world. Today, I would settle for being able to ram into the car that just cut me off without getting hurt or set things on fire with my mind (a la Stephen King's Firestarter) when I get angry. My ideals are not gone, just on hiatus as I deal with everyday life.
Maybe that's why I like fantasy and sci-fi shows. I like seeing the difference between the youthful exuberance of getting abilities and realizing you could save the entire world (Hiro on Heroes) and the kind of hard bitten edge that you get when you realize people aren't as good as you wish they were (Adam Monroe on Heroes). I like remembering that within myself and I like how, every now and then, I still wish I could save the world.
So, I might not have that magical, save the world 3 times in one day, kind of Jack Bauer life, but I think that for me, as Farmer Hoggett says, "that'll do, pig. That'll do." (This really plays more into my fascination with pigs and especially talking pig movies, but that's a later post.)
edit: I couldn't let this pass. Thanks to speakeasyx for the link.
moar funny pictures
Or the time Oprah came to town and stayed on the street I live on and how I couldn't drive and all the people driving by kept asking me (because I had to walk since cars kept blocking the street in front of the residence where Oprah stayed) if "SHE" was still here.
I think I always wanted to live a Jack Bauer life, but without the terrorists, nuclear explosions or Kim Raver.
For some reason, I've always wanted to have powers of some sort. When I was little, I thought I was a vampire. I have two pointy teeth at just the right points for those nifty vampire bites. I can say, "I want to bite your neck and suck your blood" in a better vampire voice than Bela Lugosi. My eyes hurt when I come in contact with direct sunlight... I mean, what else would you assume?
Of course, I turned 7 and I realized that it was possible vampires didn't exist. I mean, I wasn't fighting them off or anything, so I went on with my existence of hoping to become Bo Duke (I hadn't figured out I was supposed to be attracted to him yet) but my brothers and cousins kept making me be Daisy and I didn't want to play no girl! I wanted to be Bo. Not Luke, Bo!
I was kind of obstinate.
When I got a little older, I realized that I could play the girl parts in our games of fantasy. I wanted to be Wonder Woman or Storm although it was still well within my rights to be Spider Man or (with a good enough fight) Batman. If I couldn't have an actual science experiment gone wrong super power, then I wanted to at least be as inventive as Batman.
Of course, when we were kids, we wanted our powers for such lofty goals as saving the world. Today, I would settle for being able to ram into the car that just cut me off without getting hurt or set things on fire with my mind (a la Stephen King's Firestarter) when I get angry. My ideals are not gone, just on hiatus as I deal with everyday life.
Maybe that's why I like fantasy and sci-fi shows. I like seeing the difference between the youthful exuberance of getting abilities and realizing you could save the entire world (Hiro on Heroes) and the kind of hard bitten edge that you get when you realize people aren't as good as you wish they were (Adam Monroe on Heroes). I like remembering that within myself and I like how, every now and then, I still wish I could save the world.
So, I might not have that magical, save the world 3 times in one day, kind of Jack Bauer life, but I think that for me, as Farmer Hoggett says, "that'll do, pig. That'll do." (This really plays more into my fascination with pigs and especially talking pig movies, but that's a later post.)
edit: I couldn't let this pass. Thanks to speakeasyx for the link.
moar funny pictures
Friday, November 09, 2007
I Need To Make Friends...
There are a lot of good things about being married.
A. Lot.
But one of the bad things is that no one wants to hang out with you. Well, let me correct that. No one knows they can hang out with me. Oh, I am still pretty tied to my husband. I still do a lot with him and we definitely love our alone time. But there are times when I want to be out with others.
I don't have any female friends that I really hang out with. I went to Alabama to hang out with a friend who goes to Auburn and her best friend and we had a really great time. I was glad to visit her, glad to get home, but it made me discover something. I don't have anyone to hang out with here.
With The Honey's work schedule, I have a lot of time to myself. Time to go out. Time to have some fun. Time to do something other than sit at home.
Do you know what I do instead of hanging out? Work late.
Work late, people!!!
That should not be. I should be "out there". I'm relatively young. I probably could stand to lose a few pounds, although I would rather just eat the chocolate cake. Okay, so an oldish, slightly overweight woman wants to go out for a night on the town.
Riiiiiight. Actually, I just want to hang out with a bunch of people who talk about television, books, things going on in the world, conversation that spurs me on to read, to write, and to learn to communicate better. I've been in a fog of conversation, each one as if it were life or death almost. I want to get to a point where I am conversing for fun, laughing and joking.
I feel like I should want to hang out with a gaggle of women. I don't know why I would, but I feel like I should. I have been out with a group of girls before, what feels like a really long time ago. I had female friends once. We went camping together, we talked together and had actual sleep overs. We didn't talk about the intricacies of our wedding days (although, in hindsight for me, we probably should have). We didn't talk about boys (okay, so we did... GOD! I was a girl!). We planned Anti-Valentine's Day parties.
"We" no longer exist.
If I am not with my husband, I am alone. It's a bit daunting, especially when I'm not used to it. Oh, I am typical in that I like being alone. That is the best time for writing, after all. So I'm going to hang out. I'm going to accept invitations I might have turned down. I'm going to try to get in touch with those people I care about and hopefully we can get together.
A. Lot.
But one of the bad things is that no one wants to hang out with you. Well, let me correct that. No one knows they can hang out with me. Oh, I am still pretty tied to my husband. I still do a lot with him and we definitely love our alone time. But there are times when I want to be out with others.
I don't have any female friends that I really hang out with. I went to Alabama to hang out with a friend who goes to Auburn and her best friend and we had a really great time. I was glad to visit her, glad to get home, but it made me discover something. I don't have anyone to hang out with here.
With The Honey's work schedule, I have a lot of time to myself. Time to go out. Time to have some fun. Time to do something other than sit at home.
Do you know what I do instead of hanging out? Work late.
Work late, people!!!
That should not be. I should be "out there". I'm relatively young. I probably could stand to lose a few pounds, although I would rather just eat the chocolate cake. Okay, so an oldish, slightly overweight woman wants to go out for a night on the town.
Riiiiiight. Actually, I just want to hang out with a bunch of people who talk about television, books, things going on in the world, conversation that spurs me on to read, to write, and to learn to communicate better. I've been in a fog of conversation, each one as if it were life or death almost. I want to get to a point where I am conversing for fun, laughing and joking.
I feel like I should want to hang out with a gaggle of women. I don't know why I would, but I feel like I should. I have been out with a group of girls before, what feels like a really long time ago. I had female friends once. We went camping together, we talked together and had actual sleep overs. We didn't talk about the intricacies of our wedding days (although, in hindsight for me, we probably should have). We didn't talk about boys (okay, so we did... GOD! I was a girl!). We planned Anti-Valentine's Day parties.
"We" no longer exist.
If I am not with my husband, I am alone. It's a bit daunting, especially when I'm not used to it. Oh, I am typical in that I like being alone. That is the best time for writing, after all. So I'm going to hang out. I'm going to accept invitations I might have turned down. I'm going to try to get in touch with those people I care about and hopefully we can get together.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
If You Know Me
The first thing you need to do is stop by the coffee shop, pick up the food and culture magazine and read two articles by yours truly... three if you count my monthly coffee column.
Just do it!
So, I am doing Nanowrimo. I have written a lot of words. And yet I am so far from my word count, it is ridiculous. Okay, I'm just complaining now and slightly procrastinating, but I will get to 50,000 words by the end of the month if it kills me.
The loaded baked potato flavoured Pringles are just okay.
I can eat two bite brownies in one bite.
I get more excited than I should when the clock says things like 11:11 or 12:34 or 5:43.
I'm bad at video games because I don't have the patience to get better.
I wish my hair was longer than it is.
I didn't vote today because I haven't changed my address. And for that, I am sorry.
I finally found the nails and the hammer and I still haven't put up our paintings, clocks and photos.
Okay, just a random post to keep you busy until I have something good to write... or until tomorrow.
Just do it!
So, I am doing Nanowrimo. I have written a lot of words. And yet I am so far from my word count, it is ridiculous. Okay, I'm just complaining now and slightly procrastinating, but I will get to 50,000 words by the end of the month if it kills me.
The loaded baked potato flavoured Pringles are just okay.
I can eat two bite brownies in one bite.
I get more excited than I should when the clock says things like 11:11 or 12:34 or 5:43.
I'm bad at video games because I don't have the patience to get better.
I wish my hair was longer than it is.
I didn't vote today because I haven't changed my address. And for that, I am sorry.
I finally found the nails and the hammer and I still haven't put up our paintings, clocks and photos.
Okay, just a random post to keep you busy until I have something good to write... or until tomorrow.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
I've Been Sick
Well, that's my excuse anyway. For not writing. Not that you missed me or anything.
But of course, there is much more going on than that. I mean, just because I have consistently tried to hack up a lung (today, I coughed so hard for so long that my nose bled) for the last 4 days, have had a piercing headache just above my right eye for the last two, but have still had to do work of some kind for all of those days, not including the Halloween Partying that went on, despite being sick, on Saturday (4 parties in one night, photo post - with captions - soon to come), doesn't mean that it is the only thing going on.
Recently, I have been the poor in spirit. As much as the Kingdom of Heaven is mine, it has come to my attention that there is much question about said Kingdom of Heaven. The kind of questions that my poor, feeble, sickly mind can't handle right now... I mean, the realization that there is more than what the church says, and more that what people say and live, I have to do my soul searching in the form of fiction.
That's right, it's National Novel Writing Month. 50,000 words in 30 days. If I finish, it will be the first time I have carried through on the promise.
I make myself the promise every year to complete my "short story collection" or my "novel" although I haven't written anything longer than 14 pages ever in my life (well, storywise anyway). What is wrong with me. This year, I look forward to this endeavor with much more trepidation, much less hope, and much more determination than I have ever had. I say this is the year that I at least break 25,000. I get half way to all the way done, which is about 15,000 more words than I've ever done. Last year's paltry 6,000 gives me a piercing headache above my left eye.
Wish me luck.
But of course, there is much more going on than that. I mean, just because I have consistently tried to hack up a lung (today, I coughed so hard for so long that my nose bled) for the last 4 days, have had a piercing headache just above my right eye for the last two, but have still had to do work of some kind for all of those days, not including the Halloween Partying that went on, despite being sick, on Saturday (4 parties in one night, photo post - with captions - soon to come), doesn't mean that it is the only thing going on.
Recently, I have been the poor in spirit. As much as the Kingdom of Heaven is mine, it has come to my attention that there is much question about said Kingdom of Heaven. The kind of questions that my poor, feeble, sickly mind can't handle right now... I mean, the realization that there is more than what the church says, and more that what people say and live, I have to do my soul searching in the form of fiction.
That's right, it's National Novel Writing Month. 50,000 words in 30 days. If I finish, it will be the first time I have carried through on the promise.
I make myself the promise every year to complete my "short story collection" or my "novel" although I haven't written anything longer than 14 pages ever in my life (well, storywise anyway). What is wrong with me. This year, I look forward to this endeavor with much more trepidation, much less hope, and much more determination than I have ever had. I say this is the year that I at least break 25,000. I get half way to all the way done, which is about 15,000 more words than I've ever done. Last year's paltry 6,000 gives me a piercing headache above my left eye.
Wish me luck.
Monday, October 22, 2007
All Things To All People
A few years ago, I started going to a coffee shop called The Vine and I was there every Thursday, Friday and Saturday for nearly a year of my life. Towards the end of that year, I began working for them. I loved my job with them because it gave me the opportunity to know more people and come out of my shell even more.
The Vine was owned by Pam and Glen, a couple that led praise and worship at their church. They also worked with the youth and they realized that kids really had no place to go. They weren't just worried about the kids in their church, but all the youth in Macon and all the youth willing to come down from where ever they were coming from. Pam and Glen were surrogate parents for many of us. They were warm and friendly, open and welcoming. They were Christians that wanted everyone to feel welcomed and to feel loved. We showed up regularly - The truck driver looking for a million ounces of espresso in a large white mocha and a good game of chess; the writer who spent too much of her time reflecting until she actually began to meet others; people who played music regularly; homeless people and people too young to do anything except hang out. Many of the people I am still friends with today I met at The Vine. Jason, who suddenly yelled out lines from The Color Purple and bonded us instantly as friends. Kevin, a jeweler who sat at my table one day just because he wondered what in the world I could be writing every weekend. Mark, the trucker/chess player that looked like he needed a few years of sleep but was so funny in a dry humour sort of way. We got along because we both looked scarier than we actually were.
Pam and Glen ran The Vine like a business and a ministry. I loved it. I could invite anyone to come and know they would have fun. It was a great place to meet, a great place to hear live music, and a great place to just hang out.
One day, Pam and Glen decided to follow their own musical dream, so they saw about selling their equipment and The Vine name. I know they hoped that they would pass along the comfortable feeling they gave the place. The couple they sold it to did not have the same idea of what a Christian owned coffee shop should be. The most memorable difference between their ownership and Pam and Glen's I saw one evening. A couple of Morman guys came in - I assume to talk. They were obvious in their clean, dark suits, bike helmets resting on the table. They got glasses of milk and when the new owners daughters came out, she also brought tracts for the men in the hopes that they might accept Christ... the right way. It was an insult to them and immediately put up a wall. They left shortly afterwards and I never saw them there again. What once had been a place of rest for anyone who visited became a place where you couldn't just rest, but were assaulted with one man's definition of Christianity whether you liked it/agreed with it or not. It ceased to be my coffee shop.
After the Vine, I started going to and working for Joshua Cup Coffee. Also owned by Christians, they wanted the shop to be a place where anyone would be comfortable visiting. From Wiccan to Fundamental, everyone could come in and not feel judged. Blue haired, tattooed punk kids to blue haired Methodists, all shared the same place and they loved it. For more than 6 years, the people worked their hearts out, sometimes without pay, because they believed in what the shop was about. They wanted it to succeed and they worked for it to succeed. About a month ago, a new owner was brought in and with him came a manager. This manager said that only Christian music would play, that only Christian bands could perform. They kicked out the entertainment newspaper because it had bar advertisement. The entertainment newspaper that some people come to the J.Cup for. It was once the only place where I KNEW it was going to be. No longer.
As I see the changes happening, it makes me sad. I remember meeting a friend at the new Vine after I came back from my first stint in California. I met him and his brother, who was wearing a pagan cross, to catch up. The owners called me to the side to warn me about these guys. Guys that had been my friends longer than they'd been business and they thought they had the right to warn me?
Thanks, but no thanks.
I see Joshua Cup moving in that direction. There are some good changes and having real food is one of them. But I am worried about the direction and I am afraid that all the work and all the heart that went into making it a shop worth respecting will be gone.
The Vine was owned by Pam and Glen, a couple that led praise and worship at their church. They also worked with the youth and they realized that kids really had no place to go. They weren't just worried about the kids in their church, but all the youth in Macon and all the youth willing to come down from where ever they were coming from. Pam and Glen were surrogate parents for many of us. They were warm and friendly, open and welcoming. They were Christians that wanted everyone to feel welcomed and to feel loved. We showed up regularly - The truck driver looking for a million ounces of espresso in a large white mocha and a good game of chess; the writer who spent too much of her time reflecting until she actually began to meet others; people who played music regularly; homeless people and people too young to do anything except hang out. Many of the people I am still friends with today I met at The Vine. Jason, who suddenly yelled out lines from The Color Purple and bonded us instantly as friends. Kevin, a jeweler who sat at my table one day just because he wondered what in the world I could be writing every weekend. Mark, the trucker/chess player that looked like he needed a few years of sleep but was so funny in a dry humour sort of way. We got along because we both looked scarier than we actually were.
Pam and Glen ran The Vine like a business and a ministry. I loved it. I could invite anyone to come and know they would have fun. It was a great place to meet, a great place to hear live music, and a great place to just hang out.
One day, Pam and Glen decided to follow their own musical dream, so they saw about selling their equipment and The Vine name. I know they hoped that they would pass along the comfortable feeling they gave the place. The couple they sold it to did not have the same idea of what a Christian owned coffee shop should be. The most memorable difference between their ownership and Pam and Glen's I saw one evening. A couple of Morman guys came in - I assume to talk. They were obvious in their clean, dark suits, bike helmets resting on the table. They got glasses of milk and when the new owners daughters came out, she also brought tracts for the men in the hopes that they might accept Christ... the right way. It was an insult to them and immediately put up a wall. They left shortly afterwards and I never saw them there again. What once had been a place of rest for anyone who visited became a place where you couldn't just rest, but were assaulted with one man's definition of Christianity whether you liked it/agreed with it or not. It ceased to be my coffee shop.
After the Vine, I started going to and working for Joshua Cup Coffee. Also owned by Christians, they wanted the shop to be a place where anyone would be comfortable visiting. From Wiccan to Fundamental, everyone could come in and not feel judged. Blue haired, tattooed punk kids to blue haired Methodists, all shared the same place and they loved it. For more than 6 years, the people worked their hearts out, sometimes without pay, because they believed in what the shop was about. They wanted it to succeed and they worked for it to succeed. About a month ago, a new owner was brought in and with him came a manager. This manager said that only Christian music would play, that only Christian bands could perform. They kicked out the entertainment newspaper because it had bar advertisement. The entertainment newspaper that some people come to the J.Cup for. It was once the only place where I KNEW it was going to be. No longer.
As I see the changes happening, it makes me sad. I remember meeting a friend at the new Vine after I came back from my first stint in California. I met him and his brother, who was wearing a pagan cross, to catch up. The owners called me to the side to warn me about these guys. Guys that had been my friends longer than they'd been business and they thought they had the right to warn me?
Thanks, but no thanks.
I see Joshua Cup moving in that direction. There are some good changes and having real food is one of them. But I am worried about the direction and I am afraid that all the work and all the heart that went into making it a shop worth respecting will be gone.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Finished!
This week has been the most hectic week that I've had since taking a job and still trying to write for pay. It is becoming harder and harder to be fair to my regular paying job when it comes to writing.
I had 6 assignments due this week, all for next month. I need to start paying attention to the business part of this. I mean, I am keeping up with receipts, but I am not trying to figure out how to optimize my time so that I am getting the maximum worth out of the time it takes to write my articles versus what I get paid.
I have been pulled all out of sorts over how hard this week has been trying to get everything done. The Honey asked me if this was not what I wanted and I found myself smiling because this is EXACTLY what I want. I want this struggle to find the right words and put them to page. I want to receive that compliment from my editor, where her touch is barely there because my words match the style of her magazine or matches the tone that he wants in his magazine. It is not getting easier, but if I am right, it is because I am still trying very hard to be better and better. I think it would be easier to write the way I've always written.
Or it could all just be horrible and it's taken me longer than it really should have to get my articles written. But praise be to my good and fluffy Lord that I am done and ready to relax.
This is what relaxing looks like today:
Little Sister is coming to town today. We will drive around town trying to find clothes for an 80s Prom party and for her Cruela DiVille (sp?) halloween costume. Then we will go to IHOP (International House or Prayer - not Pancake) which she is being forced to go to so I agreed to go for morale support. Then we are going to the Prom. I have no clue what we will be doing after that.
Tomorrow is Arts and Jazz and then another birthday party. I like to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time!
But more than that, I am not going to think about any of the things that are really swirling in my mind. I will give myself permission to rest and to have fun. That's the least that I deserve.
I had 6 assignments due this week, all for next month. I need to start paying attention to the business part of this. I mean, I am keeping up with receipts, but I am not trying to figure out how to optimize my time so that I am getting the maximum worth out of the time it takes to write my articles versus what I get paid.
I have been pulled all out of sorts over how hard this week has been trying to get everything done. The Honey asked me if this was not what I wanted and I found myself smiling because this is EXACTLY what I want. I want this struggle to find the right words and put them to page. I want to receive that compliment from my editor, where her touch is barely there because my words match the style of her magazine or matches the tone that he wants in his magazine. It is not getting easier, but if I am right, it is because I am still trying very hard to be better and better. I think it would be easier to write the way I've always written.
Or it could all just be horrible and it's taken me longer than it really should have to get my articles written. But praise be to my good and fluffy Lord that I am done and ready to relax.
This is what relaxing looks like today:
Little Sister is coming to town today. We will drive around town trying to find clothes for an 80s Prom party and for her Cruela DiVille (sp?) halloween costume. Then we will go to IHOP (International House or Prayer - not Pancake) which she is being forced to go to so I agreed to go for morale support. Then we are going to the Prom. I have no clue what we will be doing after that.
Tomorrow is Arts and Jazz and then another birthday party. I like to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time!
But more than that, I am not going to think about any of the things that are really swirling in my mind. I will give myself permission to rest and to have fun. That's the least that I deserve.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Necessity is the Mother of Reinvention
I heard this second hand, but I thought it was funny and a friend's post about bookstores brought this to mind.
A couple of guys I know were at the bookstore, grousing about the prices of books. The one guy says to the other, "Man, wouldn't it be nice if there was a place you could go where you could get any book you wanted without paying for it and then when you're done reading, you'd give it ba..." He stopped himself in the middle of his sentence, laughed and then said, "Fuck! I've reinvented the library!"
I don't know why remember the telling of that conversation always makes me smile, but it does.
A couple of guys I know were at the bookstore, grousing about the prices of books. The one guy says to the other, "Man, wouldn't it be nice if there was a place you could go where you could get any book you wanted without paying for it and then when you're done reading, you'd give it ba..." He stopped himself in the middle of his sentence, laughed and then said, "Fuck! I've reinvented the library!"
I don't know why remember the telling of that conversation always makes me smile, but it does.
Happy Thanksgiving!
There is a local food magazine that asked me to write some things for them, so yesterday, I baked a whole turkey, macaroni and cheese and sweet potato pie for a picture. Everything turned out well, if I do say so myself, because I'm so awesome in the kitchen.
Rock on.
If I get pictures, I'll post them. The surprise, though, was the sweet potato pie. It was custard-y, but so flavourful. I baked the sweet potatoes to softness, mashed them up (after peeling them, of course) and added a bunch of stuff to it, but it was pretty simple as well. The kicker was the maple syrup in equal amounts with the sugar. It turned out delicious. I think the pictures will be good and I hope my story is good and I'm so tired from staying up all night cooking. Fortunately, I will finish everything that's been weighing on my mind tonight and maybe I can actually just sit back and relax this weekend.
Oh, yeah, this impromptu Thanksgiving baking helped me get my kitchen clean and in order. That was a blessing and an up all night curse, but all's well that ends well.
Rock on.
If I get pictures, I'll post them. The surprise, though, was the sweet potato pie. It was custard-y, but so flavourful. I baked the sweet potatoes to softness, mashed them up (after peeling them, of course) and added a bunch of stuff to it, but it was pretty simple as well. The kicker was the maple syrup in equal amounts with the sugar. It turned out delicious. I think the pictures will be good and I hope my story is good and I'm so tired from staying up all night cooking. Fortunately, I will finish everything that's been weighing on my mind tonight and maybe I can actually just sit back and relax this weekend.
Oh, yeah, this impromptu Thanksgiving baking helped me get my kitchen clean and in order. That was a blessing and an up all night curse, but all's well that ends well.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
The Bird Is The Word
Sorry about that, but I'm watching Full Metal Jacket and that song was on.
Have you ever had a day where from the moment your feet hit the floor, it's like you're running? The first song on my iPod was byPavement Placebo featuring Kate Bush. Running Up That Hill. I like that song, but as I listened to it, I just began to get tired.
Then I heard a song from a friend called Crisis of Faith (Part 1) and it made me want to drive fast.
Driving fast and tired do not a good combination make.
Tonight, something made me think about feeling connected to others, letting my mask slip a little and just putting myself out there. I got an email from a friend about being a different person now than in the past. It included a picture of myself I thought had vanished with the time. But it is still out there, floating around, a reminder of the once me, when I would willingly and without any sense of embarrassment call myself crazysexycool - as if I needed to speak it in one breath to make it real. And cool.
I'm not sure quite where to start. Do I start with the huge crush I have on Doctor Who - which is fantasy, or do I start with how my knee, which I hurt at the beginning of this month, still has not healed? Do I talk about how I look better in my jeans or how I keep looking at this story that's due last week and I can not for the life of me put the quotes in? Do I talk about how my hair is finally growing but I still might get braids, or do I talk about how hard it is to make myself put my kitchen in order. See, all these mundane, boring things that clog my mind when there are bigger things knocking around in there.
Like God and church and life and death and irrational fears and overwhelming love and finally letting go of the past. Of losing people so dear to you, you can't breath and like realizing that your friends, the one you truly love and care for, feel like half a world away.
Well, all maudlin aside, I hope it will be nice getting to know me again.
Have you ever had a day where from the moment your feet hit the floor, it's like you're running? The first song on my iPod was by
Then I heard a song from a friend called Crisis of Faith (Part 1) and it made me want to drive fast.
Driving fast and tired do not a good combination make.
Tonight, something made me think about feeling connected to others, letting my mask slip a little and just putting myself out there. I got an email from a friend about being a different person now than in the past. It included a picture of myself I thought had vanished with the time. But it is still out there, floating around, a reminder of the once me, when I would willingly and without any sense of embarrassment call myself crazysexycool - as if I needed to speak it in one breath to make it real. And cool.
I'm not sure quite where to start. Do I start with the huge crush I have on Doctor Who - which is fantasy, or do I start with how my knee, which I hurt at the beginning of this month, still has not healed? Do I talk about how I look better in my jeans or how I keep looking at this story that's due last week and I can not for the life of me put the quotes in? Do I talk about how my hair is finally growing but I still might get braids, or do I talk about how hard it is to make myself put my kitchen in order. See, all these mundane, boring things that clog my mind when there are bigger things knocking around in there.
Like God and church and life and death and irrational fears and overwhelming love and finally letting go of the past. Of losing people so dear to you, you can't breath and like realizing that your friends, the one you truly love and care for, feel like half a world away.
Well, all maudlin aside, I hope it will be nice getting to know me again.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Remembering
Sometimes I forget who I am, or why I write, or why I have blogs.
I started blogging a few years ago because I had been reading blogs for months and there was only so much you could put in a comment. There were things rolling around in my head and I admit those first few posts were more imitative or responsive than revealing. I found that I liked different writing styles and I wanted to write as well or as funny or as introspectively as the people I found delight in reading.
It had more to do with being carried away to the land of those writing and wanting to follow them, on my site, into this imaginary place where I felt at home.
But then, one day, I was revealing; writing about myself and the things going on with me, the thoughts going on in my head, not reacting to what I'd read on my favourite sites. And soon people were reading my words and living in my life. And while it lasted, it was good.
And then, it felt like I grew up. I moved to California for a while and my life has not ever been the same. In ways that I still don't understand, I am closed. That may sound weird, but I found that I could not write about my experiences or put them into any context that wasn't heartrending. And then I got married and in that, the desire to hold something of myself close to my heart and away from the world began to grow.
I guess that is still there, since my marriage is so new and so perfect (even 3 years in) that to talk about it would almost spoil it. I am surprised by how much I want to keep to myself. But as I begin to read other sites again, I have to remember why I am still here, why I take up residence at this url when I could just give it up to someone else who really wants to write. I remember that getting out the things that go on with me, typing about the pains and joys of life, revealing a little bit more than I think is fair, but a little less than everything is the only way that writing will be real for me. I have faked it for a time, slowly chugging along until the words that are jumbled in would come out on their own, but now I realize that won't happen. The words will not find a way, as some say life did. I have to find the words.
Writing is scary only in how revealing it is. Writing is hard only in our fear of telling. Here's to telling.
I started blogging a few years ago because I had been reading blogs for months and there was only so much you could put in a comment. There were things rolling around in my head and I admit those first few posts were more imitative or responsive than revealing. I found that I liked different writing styles and I wanted to write as well or as funny or as introspectively as the people I found delight in reading.
It had more to do with being carried away to the land of those writing and wanting to follow them, on my site, into this imaginary place where I felt at home.
But then, one day, I was revealing; writing about myself and the things going on with me, the thoughts going on in my head, not reacting to what I'd read on my favourite sites. And soon people were reading my words and living in my life. And while it lasted, it was good.
And then, it felt like I grew up. I moved to California for a while and my life has not ever been the same. In ways that I still don't understand, I am closed. That may sound weird, but I found that I could not write about my experiences or put them into any context that wasn't heartrending. And then I got married and in that, the desire to hold something of myself close to my heart and away from the world began to grow.
I guess that is still there, since my marriage is so new and so perfect (even 3 years in) that to talk about it would almost spoil it. I am surprised by how much I want to keep to myself. But as I begin to read other sites again, I have to remember why I am still here, why I take up residence at this url when I could just give it up to someone else who really wants to write. I remember that getting out the things that go on with me, typing about the pains and joys of life, revealing a little bit more than I think is fair, but a little less than everything is the only way that writing will be real for me. I have faked it for a time, slowly chugging along until the words that are jumbled in would come out on their own, but now I realize that won't happen. The words will not find a way, as some say life did. I have to find the words.
Writing is scary only in how revealing it is. Writing is hard only in our fear of telling. Here's to telling.
Monday, October 01, 2007
New Apartment pt. 2
Moving is hard to do, but also exciting. As I nagvigate through boxes, things made of glass haphazardly packed in trash bags and "protected" by sales circulars from Kroger, millions upon millions of feet of wires and clothes, both clean and dirty, I realize I am embarking on a new adventure.
Namely, where to put the dishes.
I don't know if you realize this, but where you place the dishes will affect you for years to come (and like I said, it's possible we'll never move again, not because we don't want to but because it's just easier). Where do the plates go? Cups, silverware, special plates for parties, dessert bakery things, plastics or pots and pans? Where do they go? Choosing wisely will mean the difference between kitchen nirvana or kitchen nightmare. And you'll need more than Chef Ramsey to get you out of a kitchen nightmare. Glasses in the wrong place so that when you have guests, they get in your way when you have them over and they want something to drink, plates that are too high up so that you drop them, bowls out of place making the cereal to bowl to fridge for milk process less ergonomic - so many things could go wrong.
So why don't you just change it?
Because by the time you realize you're in a kitchen nightmare, you've grown used to things where they are. So even though you curse because you hit your knee on the dishwasher every time you grab a pan, it is not enough to change it because we love our habits.
No, you just realize you'll plan your kitchen better next time.
Namely, where to put the dishes.
I don't know if you realize this, but where you place the dishes will affect you for years to come (and like I said, it's possible we'll never move again, not because we don't want to but because it's just easier). Where do the plates go? Cups, silverware, special plates for parties, dessert bakery things, plastics or pots and pans? Where do they go? Choosing wisely will mean the difference between kitchen nirvana or kitchen nightmare. And you'll need more than Chef Ramsey to get you out of a kitchen nightmare. Glasses in the wrong place so that when you have guests, they get in your way when you have them over and they want something to drink, plates that are too high up so that you drop them, bowls out of place making the cereal to bowl to fridge for milk process less ergonomic - so many things could go wrong.
So why don't you just change it?
Because by the time you realize you're in a kitchen nightmare, you've grown used to things where they are. So even though you curse because you hit your knee on the dishwasher every time you grab a pan, it is not enough to change it because we love our habits.
No, you just realize you'll plan your kitchen better next time.
New Apartment
We are now in our new home, a place we will possibly be staying for the rest of our lives because DAMN! that move was hard. Every muscle in my husband body is sore, I twisted my ankle and re-hurt my knee (making me virtually useless on the "moving of big things" side of it) but worse of all, the only person that could help us sprained his wrist and kept re-injuring it throughout the night. After I hurt my knee, I didn't tell anyone about my ankle until after the work was done.
I'm about to take 50 aleve, I sure do hurt.
But it is satisfying to be in this house. It's a bit smaller, but it's nice. We have some things set up, and a ton of boxes to unload. It's going to be crazy here for a few days. But we are in, almost moved out of our old house completely. I have to go back and clean, but that's about it.
We're moving in, downtown! Are you ready for us?
I'm about to take 50 aleve, I sure do hurt.
But it is satisfying to be in this house. It's a bit smaller, but it's nice. We have some things set up, and a ton of boxes to unload. It's going to be crazy here for a few days. But we are in, almost moved out of our old house completely. I have to go back and clean, but that's about it.
We're moving in, downtown! Are you ready for us?
Friday, September 14, 2007
What Fresh Hell Is This?
Spiders working together?
Apparently, there is a group of spiders... working TOGETHER... to build a gimongus web to catch all the mosquitoes over a lake.
Spiders should never work together. They should eat mosquitoes and then eat each other.
And repeat.
Stupid spiders.
Apparently, there is a group of spiders... working TOGETHER... to build a gimongus web to catch all the mosquitoes over a lake.
Spiders should never work together. They should eat mosquitoes and then eat each other.
And repeat.
Stupid spiders.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Traveling
I'm about to start traveling again, this Sunday I'm going to Florida for 4 days and the week after, I'm going to San Antonio for 3 days with an overnight stay in Atlanta for a meeting on the 4th day.
Whew.
I love to travel, I love to fly, but I hate having to go to the airport to do so. I am definitely getting my own plane and airstrip if I am ever able to afford it. I have gotten to the point where I must wear pants that don't need a belt, flip flops for easy shoe removal (although I hate walking on that floor in my bare feet), nothing metal (except underwire) and always remember to take the scissors out of my computer bag. Every time I fly, I have to check to see if knitting needles are still allowed on flights, but I take the ultimate number of bags (3) allowed on board every time which makes inspection a bit harder.
It's always funny watching people trying to walk with all their carry on luggage still haphazard, trying to close their computer cases and put their belts on simultaneously. The worst, though, is traveling with young children. Children can be a joy, don't get me wrong, but trying to handle young kids ( not only can smell the fear and despair of those waiting in line, but who are also so empathetic to that depression they will let out their own wails on behalf of the beleaguered, I-decided-to-travel-with-something-bigger-than-standard line waiters) and also trying to handle a stroller, a baby/car seat, and your own carry on luggage while simultaneously mentally nudging the two people pushing their mother through and deciding to stop for a chat.
Flying is beautiful, being so high up, I don't even worry about my normal fear of heights. I love going to different places and I can't wait to go to San Antonio. I look forward to the time when I'm traveling for the love of traveling, my husband by my side, as we explore the world together.
In an RV.
With chunnels to everywhere.
Whew.
I love to travel, I love to fly, but I hate having to go to the airport to do so. I am definitely getting my own plane and airstrip if I am ever able to afford it. I have gotten to the point where I must wear pants that don't need a belt, flip flops for easy shoe removal (although I hate walking on that floor in my bare feet), nothing metal (except underwire) and always remember to take the scissors out of my computer bag. Every time I fly, I have to check to see if knitting needles are still allowed on flights, but I take the ultimate number of bags (3) allowed on board every time which makes inspection a bit harder.
It's always funny watching people trying to walk with all their carry on luggage still haphazard, trying to close their computer cases and put their belts on simultaneously. The worst, though, is traveling with young children. Children can be a joy, don't get me wrong, but trying to handle young kids ( not only can smell the fear and despair of those waiting in line, but who are also so empathetic to that depression they will let out their own wails on behalf of the beleaguered, I-decided-to-travel-with-something-bigger-than-standard line waiters) and also trying to handle a stroller, a baby/car seat, and your own carry on luggage while simultaneously mentally nudging the two people pushing their mother through and deciding to stop for a chat.
Flying is beautiful, being so high up, I don't even worry about my normal fear of heights. I love going to different places and I can't wait to go to San Antonio. I look forward to the time when I'm traveling for the love of traveling, my husband by my side, as we explore the world together.
In an RV.
With chunnels to everywhere.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Madeleine L'Engle
I remember the first time I met Meg Murray. She was a gangly girl, smart and out of place because of it. I remember wrapping myself within myself as I read about this girl with whom I could relate. I wanted a little brother like Charles Wallace and parents that believed in me because they could see, right now, how great I was even if I wasn't popular, or pretty, or smart. I lived low self esteem and Madeleine L'Engle wrote about it as if she not only understood it, but had the heart to explain it to all of us poor confused girls so that we had the hope that one day we would not be so gangly, we would love a boy like Calvin O'Keefe who would be smart and see us for who we could be, not how we were. Madeleine L'Engle made unicorns tangible beings to us, showed us the pain of growth and to this day, I cannot think of seraphim and cherubim without being reminded of L'Engle's creation.
Madeleine L'Engle took me to a supernatural world, my first introduction to science fiction that led to Asimov and Heinlein and Bradbury and then eventually to shows like Firefly and Battlestar Galactica simply because she helped me like a little bit of science fiction in my well told tales. She was the introduction to a great cast of characters and a great way of looking at myself that that I revisit and re-read time and time again.
In 2000, I finally bought my own copies of the first three books of the Murray series after reading them from the library all my life. They were beautiful with a cover I hadn't seen before nor haven't since. The covers were unique and mystical, the way I've always remembered the feel of the stories, the way I'd always thought of Madeleine L'Engle.
I cried when I read today that Madeleine L'Engle had died. It surprised me, but the impact she had on my young self was much stronger than I realized.
Rest in peace, Madeleine L'Engle. Rest In Peace.
Madeleine L'Engle took me to a supernatural world, my first introduction to science fiction that led to Asimov and Heinlein and Bradbury and then eventually to shows like Firefly and Battlestar Galactica simply because she helped me like a little bit of science fiction in my well told tales. She was the introduction to a great cast of characters and a great way of looking at myself that that I revisit and re-read time and time again.
In 2000, I finally bought my own copies of the first three books of the Murray series after reading them from the library all my life. They were beautiful with a cover I hadn't seen before nor haven't since. The covers were unique and mystical, the way I've always remembered the feel of the stories, the way I'd always thought of Madeleine L'Engle.
I cried when I read today that Madeleine L'Engle had died. It surprised me, but the impact she had on my young self was much stronger than I realized.
Rest in peace, Madeleine L'Engle. Rest In Peace.
Friday, September 07, 2007
L'Oeuf
I've become fascinated with eggs. I never used to eat them. Even as I think back to then, I can feel the familiar reaction to eggs I always had.
They made me want to throw up.
They were slimy and gloppy and moved funny in my mouth. I could only stomach eggs if they were cooked very hard as an omelet full of meats and cheese. I would move the egg and eat the meat and cheese all melted together and if I also happened to get some egg as well, well then, that was alright.
A few months ago, I decided I was going to try a fried egg. Sunny side up.
What in the world????
But I wanted to try it, so I cooked it. I cooked it too hard, the heat was too high and the yolk was still runny, but I loved it. Just a little salt and pepper and I was on my way. I've been eating eggs sunny side up and over easy ever since. I had a couple of scrambled eggs, but they held no appeal. Over time I'm learning how to get it just right. Just the right amount of butter, just the right amount of heat. I'm certainly not an expert for anyone but myself, but the current incarnation of my egg definitely beats out its first appearance.
The different tastes that exist in their non scrambled forms is enthralling. The egg whites that soak up the butter, the yolks that hint at their hard boiled taste with something a bit more earthy underneath, together forming a taste that, for the first time in the 4 years since I started eating eggs, makes me excited about eggs again. Also for the first time, I don't require cheese, which is the thing that saved the scrambled egg for me.
I was online and I read about The Egg. I can't wait to try it.
They made me want to throw up.
They were slimy and gloppy and moved funny in my mouth. I could only stomach eggs if they were cooked very hard as an omelet full of meats and cheese. I would move the egg and eat the meat and cheese all melted together and if I also happened to get some egg as well, well then, that was alright.
A few months ago, I decided I was going to try a fried egg. Sunny side up.
What in the world????
But I wanted to try it, so I cooked it. I cooked it too hard, the heat was too high and the yolk was still runny, but I loved it. Just a little salt and pepper and I was on my way. I've been eating eggs sunny side up and over easy ever since. I had a couple of scrambled eggs, but they held no appeal. Over time I'm learning how to get it just right. Just the right amount of butter, just the right amount of heat. I'm certainly not an expert for anyone but myself, but the current incarnation of my egg definitely beats out its first appearance.
The different tastes that exist in their non scrambled forms is enthralling. The egg whites that soak up the butter, the yolks that hint at their hard boiled taste with something a bit more earthy underneath, together forming a taste that, for the first time in the 4 years since I started eating eggs, makes me excited about eggs again. Also for the first time, I don't require cheese, which is the thing that saved the scrambled egg for me.
I was online and I read about The Egg. I can't wait to try it.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Drool Worthy Fiber
This is so beautiful. I've found myself going back to the site just to stare at it.
Yes. I know. I'm such a nerd.
All Things Considered
If things go as discussed, I may have to move my television blog back to its original location. It has been brought up in certain secretive meetings with a particular newspaper that I may be writing my blog for their online audience. If that's the case, I will let you know, but otherwise, you will have to be bored by the things entertaining me on here instead.
Just a head's up.
Just a head's up.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Sneak Peak at Fox's K-Ville
If you want to see the season premiere of K-Ville, Fox's new police drama, you can check it out on Fox on Demand. You can also watch episodes of other shows, like Bones, Hell's Kitchen, American Dad, or the show that was cancelled after only one episode, Anchorwoman. Or you can catch the first 17 minutes of the season 3 premiere of Prison Break (a show I, personally, cannot stand).
Tell me what you think? Was I right about it not being cancelled?
Tell me what you think? Was I right about it not being cancelled?
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Big Fat TV Nerd, Part 5
I did not do the CW last year, so here are my predictions for the new shows coming this fall. (C)=comedy, (D)=drama, (R)=reality.
(C) Aliens in America - A mom becomes an exchange student host family hoping that the exchange student will help her son be popular. What they get is an boy who is also a Muslim. The story of how these two misfits become friends in that crazy world called high school. Gut reaction? NOT CANCELLED
(CD) Reaper - A young man finds out, on his 21st birthday, that his parents sold his soul to the devil. Now he is the devil's bounty hunter with a vast array of tools to help him get the job done. Before the previews came out, many thought this would be direct intrachannel competition for Supernatural, but it is so totally not. NOT CANCELLED because it seems like it will be fun.
(D) Gossip Girl - Kristen Bell, how we will miss you. If only Veronica Mars had continued with it's good writing and your quirky, yet believable delivery. Especially after the season finale. Now, however, we look forward to you on Heroes as well as the title character Gossip Girl. /end homage. Noone knows who Gossip Girl is, but Gossip Girls sees and knows all. Her voice over narration details the drama at a ritzy prep school and the drama that surrounds its inhabitants when THE "IT" Girl returns to the fold. NOT CANCELLED
(D) Life is Wild - Based on the British show, a family moves from the concrete jungle of New York City to the wilds of South Africa. It is a journey of self discovery for this new family. Let's hope it's good. NOT CANCELLED.
The CW will also premiere two pop culture shows, one called CW Now which they hope will become THE place for the latest info on celebrities, gossip, fashion, places, and things... everything that we supposedly want to know about what's hot, what's not and what's next. They will also premiere Online Nation, which is a show that pulls together the best of video online... you know, the videos we get in email every morning? They will get all of those together and show them all to us. Will possibly be fun for the people who don't live their lives online.
(C) Aliens in America - A mom becomes an exchange student host family hoping that the exchange student will help her son be popular. What they get is an boy who is also a Muslim. The story of how these two misfits become friends in that crazy world called high school. Gut reaction? NOT CANCELLED
(CD) Reaper - A young man finds out, on his 21st birthday, that his parents sold his soul to the devil. Now he is the devil's bounty hunter with a vast array of tools to help him get the job done. Before the previews came out, many thought this would be direct intrachannel competition for Supernatural, but it is so totally not. NOT CANCELLED because it seems like it will be fun.
(D) Gossip Girl - Kristen Bell, how we will miss you. If only Veronica Mars had continued with it's good writing and your quirky, yet believable delivery. Especially after the season finale. Now, however, we look forward to you on Heroes as well as the title character Gossip Girl. /end homage. Noone knows who Gossip Girl is, but Gossip Girls sees and knows all. Her voice over narration details the drama at a ritzy prep school and the drama that surrounds its inhabitants when THE "IT" Girl returns to the fold. NOT CANCELLED
(D) Life is Wild - Based on the British show, a family moves from the concrete jungle of New York City to the wilds of South Africa. It is a journey of self discovery for this new family. Let's hope it's good. NOT CANCELLED.
The CW will also premiere two pop culture shows, one called CW Now which they hope will become THE place for the latest info on celebrities, gossip, fashion, places, and things... everything that we supposedly want to know about what's hot, what's not and what's next. They will also premiere Online Nation, which is a show that pulls together the best of video online... you know, the videos we get in email every morning? They will get all of those together and show them all to us. Will possibly be fun for the people who don't live their lives online.
Big Fat TV Nerd, Part 4
Fox has most of my current favourite shows, but it will be interesting to see what comes of this new season. First, last year's predictions. (d)=drama, (c)=comedy, (r)=reality
(C) Happy Hour - "Happy Hour... free buffalo wings... half priced drinks... and the time between the end of one relationship and the start of another". CANCELLED, but I'll take the free wings and half priced drinks.
(D) Justice - "An unflinching, behind the scene look at the way high profile cases are tried in the media age. Starring Victor Garber, Kerr Smith, Eamonn Walker. CANCELLED
(D) Standoff - Two of the top ranked negotiators in the FBI's Crisis Negotiation Unit are sleeping together and when it's revealed, it cause friction with the group. Gina Torres stars. NOT CANCELLED 'cause of my girl Gina aka Zoe aka good to see you on TV again Torres.
(C) 'Til Death - A comedy about new marriages vs. old marriages. Starring Brad Garrett and Joely Fisher. Two funny people and a good comedy for Fox. NOT CANCELLED
(D) Vanished - A woman disappears and the investigation into that disappearance brings up more than anyone ever thought. Rebecca Gayheart, Ming Na star. NOT CANCELLED out of sheer voyeurism and guilty pleasurism.
The Wedding Album - "Things are definitely more interesting when every day at the 'office' is the most important day of someone else's life." CANCELLED - doesn't seem to have much substance. I couldn't even tell if it were a comedy or a drama.
(C) The Winner - A 43 year old looks back to the tender age of 32 when he became a man. Now rich, he leads us through the steps he took to get there, with the help of his true love's 13 year old son. Stars Rob Corddry (of Daily Show fame - And some Arrested Development), Julie Hagerty (Airplane!) and Lenny Clarke (funny!) NOT CANCELLED
I was wrong about Standoff and Vanished. I loved Standoff and wish it could have continued. I hated Vanished from the first episode. Of course, I suppose my girl crush on Gina Torres helped with Standoff, but I liked the show for its other elements. I'm pretty excited about a few shows coming to Fox this season. I was also VERY wrong about The Winner. So sad. It had its very funny moments.
(D) K-Ville - Stupid name, but interesting concept of cops trying to take New Orleans back after Katrina. It stars Anthony Anderson who has his funny moments but is really good as a serious actor, as he's shown us on The Shield. NOT CANCELLED
(D) New Amsterdam - Actually, as of last minute information, this show will become a midseason show. That does not bode well at all. Maybe they are trying to keep it from competing with CBS' Moonlight. Maybe they want to see how well Moonlight will do. Maybe they feel they are too close and want to change some elements... If there is something wrong, that will be too bad because I thought this drama, of a guy who gives his life saving a Native American woman from his own people killing them and gets the "gift/curse" of eternal life until he finds his one true love from the saved girl, would actually be good... although I hear he gets killed when he is near his true love and then comes back to life when he is far from her at the morgue and must find out who she is so that he can be with her.... hmm, maybe that's why it's a midseason show... but still, NOT CANCELLED
(C) Back To You - Kelsey Grammar and Patricia Heaton are news anchors at the same station... Kelsey Grammar's character made it to the big times and then a cursing spell gets him pulled from the show and the only place that will hire him is the place where he started. I hope it's good. We need new comedies. NOT CANCELLED
(R) Kitchen Nightmares - Gordon Ramsey is the chef from Hell... and he brings his own style of dealing with people to a kitchen near you. Modeled after the BBC show Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares, Gordon Ramsey goes to different restaurants to help their kitchens become better. Since I loved Hell's Kitchen this year, this deserves a look. It's done well on BBC America, so NOT CANCELLED.
(R) American Band - American Idol for bands. I hear one of my husband's friends made it on the show, so worth watching to see how far he and his band got. Here's also hoping they have the horrible bands episode that's as funny as the horrible singers episodes on American Idol. NOT CANCELLED
(D) Nashville - Country music's version of The O.C. NOT CANCELLED because almost everybody and their mama loved The O.C.
(C) Unhitched - 4 friends look for love. Rashida Jones is in this, which means that she's left The Office and although it's sad to see her go (she was funny to me), I'm one of those saps who were hoping Pam and Jim got together. However, this show just seems unfunny. CANCELLED
(C) The Return of Jezebel James - The reviews of this show is not good. From what I saw, it was pretty unfunny and slightly sad, even though I really like Parker Posey. CANCELLED, unless they do some massive rewrites.
(D) The Sarah Connor Chronicles - Another version of the Terminator. Summer Glau (our girl from Firefly/Serenity) is a badass again... and what can be better to watch than Summer Glau badassing it up? NOT CANCELLED
(D) Canterbury's Law - Julianna Marguiles out sharks Shark. From the creators of Rescue Me, which in and of itself is a phenomenal show. This seems like an edgy lawyer show, what I though CBS' Shark would be and have been disappointed by. NOT CANCELLED, although the buzz about it has not been as good as it looks to me.
(C) Happy Hour - "Happy Hour... free buffalo wings... half priced drinks... and the time between the end of one relationship and the start of another". CANCELLED, but I'll take the free wings and half priced drinks.
(D) Justice - "An unflinching, behind the scene look at the way high profile cases are tried in the media age. Starring Victor Garber, Kerr Smith, Eamonn Walker. CANCELLED
(D) Standoff - Two of the top ranked negotiators in the FBI's Crisis Negotiation Unit are sleeping together and when it's revealed, it cause friction with the group. Gina Torres stars. NOT CANCELLED 'cause of my girl Gina aka Zoe aka good to see you on TV again Torres.
(C) 'Til Death - A comedy about new marriages vs. old marriages. Starring Brad Garrett and Joely Fisher. Two funny people and a good comedy for Fox. NOT CANCELLED
(D) Vanished - A woman disappears and the investigation into that disappearance brings up more than anyone ever thought. Rebecca Gayheart, Ming Na star. NOT CANCELLED out of sheer voyeurism and guilty pleasurism.
The Wedding Album - "Things are definitely more interesting when every day at the 'office' is the most important day of someone else's life." CANCELLED - doesn't seem to have much substance. I couldn't even tell if it were a comedy or a drama.
(C) The Winner - A 43 year old looks back to the tender age of 32 when he became a man. Now rich, he leads us through the steps he took to get there, with the help of his true love's 13 year old son. Stars Rob Corddry (of Daily Show fame - And some Arrested Development), Julie Hagerty (Airplane!) and Lenny Clarke (funny!) NOT CANCELLED
I was wrong about Standoff and Vanished. I loved Standoff and wish it could have continued. I hated Vanished from the first episode. Of course, I suppose my girl crush on Gina Torres helped with Standoff, but I liked the show for its other elements. I'm pretty excited about a few shows coming to Fox this season. I was also VERY wrong about The Winner. So sad. It had its very funny moments.
(D) K-Ville - Stupid name, but interesting concept of cops trying to take New Orleans back after Katrina. It stars Anthony Anderson who has his funny moments but is really good as a serious actor, as he's shown us on The Shield. NOT CANCELLED
(D) New Amsterdam - Actually, as of last minute information, this show will become a midseason show. That does not bode well at all. Maybe they are trying to keep it from competing with CBS' Moonlight. Maybe they want to see how well Moonlight will do. Maybe they feel they are too close and want to change some elements... If there is something wrong, that will be too bad because I thought this drama, of a guy who gives his life saving a Native American woman from his own people killing them and gets the "gift/curse" of eternal life until he finds his one true love from the saved girl, would actually be good... although I hear he gets killed when he is near his true love and then comes back to life when he is far from her at the morgue and must find out who she is so that he can be with her.... hmm, maybe that's why it's a midseason show... but still, NOT CANCELLED
(C) Back To You - Kelsey Grammar and Patricia Heaton are news anchors at the same station... Kelsey Grammar's character made it to the big times and then a cursing spell gets him pulled from the show and the only place that will hire him is the place where he started. I hope it's good. We need new comedies. NOT CANCELLED
(R) Kitchen Nightmares - Gordon Ramsey is the chef from Hell... and he brings his own style of dealing with people to a kitchen near you. Modeled after the BBC show Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares, Gordon Ramsey goes to different restaurants to help their kitchens become better. Since I loved Hell's Kitchen this year, this deserves a look. It's done well on BBC America, so NOT CANCELLED.
(R) American Band - American Idol for bands. I hear one of my husband's friends made it on the show, so worth watching to see how far he and his band got. Here's also hoping they have the horrible bands episode that's as funny as the horrible singers episodes on American Idol. NOT CANCELLED
(D) Nashville - Country music's version of The O.C. NOT CANCELLED because almost everybody and their mama loved The O.C.
(C) Unhitched - 4 friends look for love. Rashida Jones is in this, which means that she's left The Office and although it's sad to see her go (she was funny to me), I'm one of those saps who were hoping Pam and Jim got together. However, this show just seems unfunny. CANCELLED
(C) The Return of Jezebel James - The reviews of this show is not good. From what I saw, it was pretty unfunny and slightly sad, even though I really like Parker Posey. CANCELLED, unless they do some massive rewrites.
(D) The Sarah Connor Chronicles - Another version of the Terminator. Summer Glau (our girl from Firefly/Serenity) is a badass again... and what can be better to watch than Summer Glau badassing it up? NOT CANCELLED
(D) Canterbury's Law - Julianna Marguiles out sharks Shark. From the creators of Rescue Me, which in and of itself is a phenomenal show. This seems like an edgy lawyer show, what I though CBS' Shark would be and have been disappointed by. NOT CANCELLED, although the buzz about it has not been as good as it looks to me.
Big Fat TV Nerd Part 3
Continuing my series of caring a little too much about television, I bring you last year's predictions for shows on NBC. As always (d)=drama, (c)=comedy, (r)=reality
(D) Heroes - "Heroes chronicle the lives of those [with supernatural ability] whose destiny just might be saving human kind. Stars Milo Ventimiglia (of Gilmore Girl fame). NOT CANCELLED because people always want more X:MEN.
(D) Friday Night Lights - Football story, like the movie, but every Tuesday (unless they change the schedule). I loved the movie, but will miss Billy Bob Thornton. NOT CANCELLED
(D) Kidnapped - A couple's 15 year old son is kidnapped. Shocking crime or business vendetta? Watch as the event unfold. Delroy Lindo, therefore NOT CANCELLED.
(C) Twenty Good Years - Old men live the rest of their lives to the fullest. John Lithgow and Jeffrey Tambor (George Bluth) so NOT CANCELLED, although networks didn't take too kindly to Arrested Development, so CANCELLED
(C) 30 Rock - Tina Fey is Dick Van Dyke. It's full of SNL alums and Alex Baldwin. CANCELLED, even though I think Tina Fey is funny.
(D) Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Josh Lyman and Chandler Bing are Dick Van Dyke breaking new life into a sketch comedy series. I still think this is a drama though. Starring Matthew Perry, Bradley Whitford and Amanda Peet. This sounds like it has potential, but CANCELLED
I am glad that I was wrong about 30 Rock. It turned into one of the funniest sitcoms last season. And unfortunately, I was right about Studio 60, although we were two of like 10 people who loved the show. I was wrong about Kidnapped, although it was a very good show. It got a lot of critical acclaim, being MUCH better than Fox's Vanished which was basically the same premise. NBC finished the remaining episodes online, which was great for the fans, but I would have liked to see this show continue. The actors were simply fantastic.
This season, NBC is bringing a couple of shows I'm pretty interested in.
(D) Bionic Woman - A woman in a life threatening accident, a boyfriend who's a prosthetist...a bionic prosthetist who wants his girlfriend to live. A government who doesn't want the billions of dollars that is her new body to go to waste and Battlestar Galactica's Katee Sackhoff. NOT CANCELLED
(D) Journeyman - This guy travels through time and may have the ability to save the woman he once loved. But what does that mean for his current love life and is he going crazy and does this premise make sense or am I going crazy? Even though you can't dislike a series because they can't really explain the premise, you wonder if the difficulty in explaining it in simple terms will cause it to be cancelled. My guess? CANCELLED
(CD) Chuck - I remember a show called Scarecrow and Mrs. King. I loved that show. I miss that show. It looks like Chuck may be that show. Maybe not. A computer nerd sees everything that the government knows. I forget how. He hacked it, somebody else hacked it, it gets hacked and sent to him, whatever. But the government is after him...or they want to work with him. Whatever. Adam Baldwin (Jayne from Firefly) is in it. I'm watching, I don't know about you. However, CANCELLED in hopes of some Firefly specialness from Joss Whedon that Baldwin can return to.
(D) Life - A cop gets life for murder. But he's innocent. Gets out of jail. Becomes a cop again, even though he gets millions for being wrongfully imprisoned. Then he uses the skills he learned on "the inside" to help him solve cases on "the outside". Spooky? That's what I thought. NOT CANCELLED, although I also had high hopes for Raines, another of last season's cooky cop shows that bombed on NBC. Maybe because Raines could see dead people. Let's hope Life does better.
(DC) Lipstick Jungle - Brooke Shields is in this one. This is the one I don't think will do as well as Cashmere Mafia. I think this one has a simpler premise, but it shall be seen if this NBC drama will beat it's twin on ABC. CANCELLED
(D) Heroes - "Heroes chronicle the lives of those [with supernatural ability] whose destiny just might be saving human kind. Stars Milo Ventimiglia (of Gilmore Girl fame). NOT CANCELLED because people always want more X:MEN.
(D) Friday Night Lights - Football story, like the movie, but every Tuesday (unless they change the schedule). I loved the movie, but will miss Billy Bob Thornton. NOT CANCELLED
(D) Kidnapped - A couple's 15 year old son is kidnapped. Shocking crime or business vendetta? Watch as the event unfold. Delroy Lindo, therefore NOT CANCELLED.
(C) Twenty Good Years - Old men live the rest of their lives to the fullest. John Lithgow and Jeffrey Tambor (George Bluth) so NOT CANCELLED, although networks didn't take too kindly to Arrested Development, so CANCELLED
(C) 30 Rock - Tina Fey is Dick Van Dyke. It's full of SNL alums and Alex Baldwin. CANCELLED, even though I think Tina Fey is funny.
(D) Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Josh Lyman and Chandler Bing are Dick Van Dyke breaking new life into a sketch comedy series. I still think this is a drama though. Starring Matthew Perry, Bradley Whitford and Amanda Peet. This sounds like it has potential, but CANCELLED
I am glad that I was wrong about 30 Rock. It turned into one of the funniest sitcoms last season. And unfortunately, I was right about Studio 60, although we were two of like 10 people who loved the show. I was wrong about Kidnapped, although it was a very good show. It got a lot of critical acclaim, being MUCH better than Fox's Vanished which was basically the same premise. NBC finished the remaining episodes online, which was great for the fans, but I would have liked to see this show continue. The actors were simply fantastic.
This season, NBC is bringing a couple of shows I'm pretty interested in.
(D) Bionic Woman - A woman in a life threatening accident, a boyfriend who's a prosthetist...a bionic prosthetist who wants his girlfriend to live. A government who doesn't want the billions of dollars that is her new body to go to waste and Battlestar Galactica's Katee Sackhoff. NOT CANCELLED
(D) Journeyman - This guy travels through time and may have the ability to save the woman he once loved. But what does that mean for his current love life and is he going crazy and does this premise make sense or am I going crazy? Even though you can't dislike a series because they can't really explain the premise, you wonder if the difficulty in explaining it in simple terms will cause it to be cancelled. My guess? CANCELLED
(CD) Chuck - I remember a show called Scarecrow and Mrs. King. I loved that show. I miss that show. It looks like Chuck may be that show. Maybe not. A computer nerd sees everything that the government knows. I forget how. He hacked it, somebody else hacked it, it gets hacked and sent to him, whatever. But the government is after him...or they want to work with him. Whatever. Adam Baldwin (Jayne from Firefly) is in it. I'm watching, I don't know about you. However, CANCELLED in hopes of some Firefly specialness from Joss Whedon that Baldwin can return to.
(D) Life - A cop gets life for murder. But he's innocent. Gets out of jail. Becomes a cop again, even though he gets millions for being wrongfully imprisoned. Then he uses the skills he learned on "the inside" to help him solve cases on "the outside". Spooky? That's what I thought. NOT CANCELLED, although I also had high hopes for Raines, another of last season's cooky cop shows that bombed on NBC. Maybe because Raines could see dead people. Let's hope Life does better.
(DC) Lipstick Jungle - Brooke Shields is in this one. This is the one I don't think will do as well as Cashmere Mafia. I think this one has a simpler premise, but it shall be seen if this NBC drama will beat it's twin on ABC. CANCELLED
Thursday, August 16, 2007
When. Will. It. BE. Here!?!?!?
I heard tell that my favourite video game (Yes, Honey, XBox 360 finally beat out the Wii in my opinion), Viva Pinata will be coming to the DS Lite!!!!
According to GameSpot, the game will have more features and take advantage of the DS Lite's touch screen capabilities in interacting with the pinatas. Among other things!
As some of you may not know, I was not necessarily a video game person. You can check out this post for my awful time with Gears of War. He would never say this, but I'm sure if he could describe my attempts at playing the word embarrassment would drop. He would especially not want me to play in front of others. Stinkin' game.
But it was Tetris on the DS Lite that got me started. And now, those wonderful programmers have decided to give me a portable version of the game I love. Bless you, RARE.
Rock Band will be coming out later this year. THE GUYS have decided to come over, dressed up for their parts. If you don't know, Rock Band is the video game that takes Guitar Hero one step further. Using guitar, bass, drums and vocals, all your friends can come together and irritate the tar our of your next door, cross the hall, and downstairs neighbors. However, these guys are dedicated. They will be ready to tour the world after only a few hours of practice. I can't wait for that party.
I don't really get into gamer news that often, but this was something that I could really get excited about. And that is always good.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Big Fat TV Nerd Part 2
For the 2007-2008, ABC has the one of the most anticipated shows, although I'm not sure if it is anticipated in the way that the network wants it to be. But first, last year's predictions: (by the way, I was using the show names from May)
ABC
2006-2007 Fall Season:
(DC) Big Day - Danny and Alice are getting married today and we see it in 22 episodes. I remember my wedding and I say YES! because watching my wedding fall apart was utterly hilarious. It's 24 does a wedding day. NOT CANCELLED.
(C) Let's Rob... - Donal Logue (The Tao of Steve) is a janitor who puts together a motley crew to rob Mick Jagger's swank New York apartment. The only problem is that not one of them has stolen so much as a candy bar. What kind of show name is "Let's Rob..." anyway. It should be cancelled just on name alone. Donal Logue is funny, but I still think CANCELLED
(C) Help Me Help You - Self help group therapy where the Dr. may be just as crazy as the patients. Stars Ted Danson. CANCELLED, although Danson shows usually last a couple of seasons.
(C) Notes From The Underbelly - "The politics of parenthood can be just as demanding as raising he child. A group of friends watch their lives change to accomodate the little stranger. CANCELLED
(D) Betty The Ugly - An ugly duckling and a mogul's son are the "Working Girl couple who tackle the colourful, cutthroat world of fashion head on. This stars America Ferrerra and she made me cry in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. NOT CANCELLED
(D) Brothers and Sisters - Calista Flockhart narrates this tale of a family whos recent loss brings their own pressing personal issues to light. Family McBeal. The strength of the actors may bring this drama through. NOT CANCELLED
(D) Day Break - Brett Hopper keeps reliving the day he was framed for murder (that's weird) - and no cute groundhog can help him get out of it. Stars Taye Digg and Adam Baldwin (Jayne!). Even though this is a midseason show, I had to give a shout out to someone from the Firefly crew! NOT CANCELLED
(D) Men In Trees - A horrible title for a "fun and sexy drama about finding love in the most unexpected places". Stars Anne Heche. CANCELLED
(D) Six Degrees - " A story that will prove just how small the world really is and how someone just five people away could be shaping your future. From the creators of Lost and Alias, this give us all hope for another great drama, so, NOT CANCELLED
(D) The Nine - Nine people trapped in a bank robbery gone wrong and a 52 hour hostage stand off are irrevocably and forever linked. Stars Tim Daly, Chi McBride, and Scott Wolf. This promises a Lost-esque flashback/ 24ish filmed show. Done well, this will definitely be a NOT CANCELLED. Plus, being told from the linked after a tragedy story, there are so many directions the story line could go and the actors are top notch. I'm hoping this does well.
I was completely wrong about Big Day. I thought it was something different, a comedic drama. In reality, it was a 30 minute sitcom that was decidedly unfunny - although the mother and father were interesting. Let's Rob became Knights of Prosperity and although it got a second look, it is as good as cancelled. Day Break was cancelled, but with the full season online, I didn't feel that way (it was a show I liked) and although I was right about Brothers and Sisters and wrong about Men In Trees, I find that I am glad that Men In Trees stayed around and I disliked Brothers and Sisters. I hear that B&S is much lighter than the first few episodes, but I haven't brought myself to start watching again.
So, the score is This Girl-5, The Network-5
So, for this year, ABC has some shows that seem great and some show that are like... huh? So here goes: (c)=comedy, (d)=drama, (r)=reality
(c)Samantha Who- starring Married With Children's Christina Applegate, a woman loses her memory and must piece her life back together with the help of family and friends. The kicker? She may not have been that nice and her "accident" may have been an attempted murder. This show seems really interesting to me, so if it's actually funny, I'll say NOT CANCELLED.
(c)Caveman - I'm really looking forward to this show, not because it seems so good, but because I really want to see how they turn the Geico Caveman commercial into a sitcom. Yes, the Geico Cavemen must battle prehistoric bigotry in present day Atlanta. CANCELLED oh so CANCELLED.
(c) Carpoolers - 4 guys drive to work together and discuss their lives. I'm not sure how interesting this will be. I mean, Jerry O'Connell... it's kind of like my see-saw with Viva Laughlin... on the one hand Hugh Jackman... on the other hand, musical casino show. That's how this Jerry O'Connell thing is catching me. But, taking the temperature of comedy, I will have to say CANCELLED.
(d) Pushing Daisies - If Tim Burton wrote a television show, this would be it. It's got it's fair share of the macabre, the magical and the mysterious in this tall tale of a man that has the power of life and death in his touch. He find his old crush has been killed, he wakes her and then doesn't touch her again. It will be interesting to see this no touching love story played out in the sex without a first date world. NOT CANCELLED
(d)Private Practice - This is the show following Dr. Addison Montgomery of Grey's Anatomy fame as she leaves Seattle Grace Hospital and travels to the sunny climes of Southern California. The interesting thing about Private Practice is that we've already gotten a preview and I really enjoyed it. If they continue in that vain, it should be a definite NOT CANCELLED
(d)Dirty Sexy Money - Do-Gooder Lawyer takes over father's position with rich New York family. Seems stupid from the previews, but who know. However, I still feel like it will be CANCELLED.
(d) Big Shots - Apparently, this show proves that men are the new women. GACK! I hope not! Stars some guys who should make this good, but I still think CANCELLED.
(d)Women's Murder Club - Based on a James Patterson book. I've read that others didn't find this one interesting, but it looks like it will be good. People aren't really getting tired of procedurals because they have the added bonus that you don't have to watch it every week. NOT CANCELLED.
(c)Miss-Guided - A woman who was a dork in high school goes back as a supposedly confident school counselor. But then her "rival", the once high school "hot chick" gets a job and they both have their eye on the same man. It may be good, but I'm going to say CANCELLED.
(d) Eli Stone - A lawyer turns prophet. While that, spoken, may be a given, this guy actually is supposed to become some sort of man of a god. Sounds preposterous. CANCELLED.
(d) Cashmere Mafia - 4 women on the top of their game in the big city. Lucy Liu is in this one, I think. I hear it's real bad. But of the two(the other being Lipstick Jungle), I think CM will be the one to stay... unless it goes the Kidnapped/Vanished route of last season (both will be cancelled, both the one that is good and the one that is bad because no one will somehow not be able to tell the difference despite being on different channels) NOT CANCELLED.
ABC
2006-2007 Fall Season:
(DC) Big Day - Danny and Alice are getting married today and we see it in 22 episodes. I remember my wedding and I say YES! because watching my wedding fall apart was utterly hilarious. It's 24 does a wedding day. NOT CANCELLED.
(C) Let's Rob... - Donal Logue (The Tao of Steve) is a janitor who puts together a motley crew to rob Mick Jagger's swank New York apartment. The only problem is that not one of them has stolen so much as a candy bar. What kind of show name is "Let's Rob..." anyway. It should be cancelled just on name alone. Donal Logue is funny, but I still think CANCELLED
(C) Help Me Help You - Self help group therapy where the Dr. may be just as crazy as the patients. Stars Ted Danson. CANCELLED, although Danson shows usually last a couple of seasons.
(C) Notes From The Underbelly - "The politics of parenthood can be just as demanding as raising he child. A group of friends watch their lives change to accomodate the little stranger. CANCELLED
(D) Betty The Ugly - An ugly duckling and a mogul's son are the "Working Girl couple who tackle the colourful, cutthroat world of fashion head on. This stars America Ferrerra and she made me cry in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. NOT CANCELLED
(D) Brothers and Sisters - Calista Flockhart narrates this tale of a family whos recent loss brings their own pressing personal issues to light. Family McBeal. The strength of the actors may bring this drama through. NOT CANCELLED
(D) Day Break - Brett Hopper keeps reliving the day he was framed for murder (that's weird) - and no cute groundhog can help him get out of it. Stars Taye Digg and Adam Baldwin (Jayne!). Even though this is a midseason show, I had to give a shout out to someone from the Firefly crew! NOT CANCELLED
(D) Men In Trees - A horrible title for a "fun and sexy drama about finding love in the most unexpected places". Stars Anne Heche. CANCELLED
(D) Six Degrees - " A story that will prove just how small the world really is and how someone just five people away could be shaping your future. From the creators of Lost and Alias, this give us all hope for another great drama, so, NOT CANCELLED
(D) The Nine - Nine people trapped in a bank robbery gone wrong and a 52 hour hostage stand off are irrevocably and forever linked. Stars Tim Daly, Chi McBride, and Scott Wolf. This promises a Lost-esque flashback/ 24ish filmed show. Done well, this will definitely be a NOT CANCELLED. Plus, being told from the linked after a tragedy story, there are so many directions the story line could go and the actors are top notch. I'm hoping this does well.
I was completely wrong about Big Day. I thought it was something different, a comedic drama. In reality, it was a 30 minute sitcom that was decidedly unfunny - although the mother and father were interesting. Let's Rob became Knights of Prosperity and although it got a second look, it is as good as cancelled. Day Break was cancelled, but with the full season online, I didn't feel that way (it was a show I liked) and although I was right about Brothers and Sisters and wrong about Men In Trees, I find that I am glad that Men In Trees stayed around and I disliked Brothers and Sisters. I hear that B&S is much lighter than the first few episodes, but I haven't brought myself to start watching again.
So, the score is This Girl-5, The Network-5
So, for this year, ABC has some shows that seem great and some show that are like... huh? So here goes: (c)=comedy, (d)=drama, (r)=reality
(c)Samantha Who- starring Married With Children's Christina Applegate, a woman loses her memory and must piece her life back together with the help of family and friends. The kicker? She may not have been that nice and her "accident" may have been an attempted murder. This show seems really interesting to me, so if it's actually funny, I'll say NOT CANCELLED.
(c)Caveman - I'm really looking forward to this show, not because it seems so good, but because I really want to see how they turn the Geico Caveman commercial into a sitcom. Yes, the Geico Cavemen must battle prehistoric bigotry in present day Atlanta. CANCELLED oh so CANCELLED.
(c) Carpoolers - 4 guys drive to work together and discuss their lives. I'm not sure how interesting this will be. I mean, Jerry O'Connell... it's kind of like my see-saw with Viva Laughlin... on the one hand Hugh Jackman... on the other hand, musical casino show. That's how this Jerry O'Connell thing is catching me. But, taking the temperature of comedy, I will have to say CANCELLED.
(d) Pushing Daisies - If Tim Burton wrote a television show, this would be it. It's got it's fair share of the macabre, the magical and the mysterious in this tall tale of a man that has the power of life and death in his touch. He find his old crush has been killed, he wakes her and then doesn't touch her again. It will be interesting to see this no touching love story played out in the sex without a first date world. NOT CANCELLED
(d)Private Practice - This is the show following Dr. Addison Montgomery of Grey's Anatomy fame as she leaves Seattle Grace Hospital and travels to the sunny climes of Southern California. The interesting thing about Private Practice is that we've already gotten a preview and I really enjoyed it. If they continue in that vain, it should be a definite NOT CANCELLED
(d)Dirty Sexy Money - Do-Gooder Lawyer takes over father's position with rich New York family. Seems stupid from the previews, but who know. However, I still feel like it will be CANCELLED.
(d) Big Shots - Apparently, this show proves that men are the new women. GACK! I hope not! Stars some guys who should make this good, but I still think CANCELLED.
(d)Women's Murder Club - Based on a James Patterson book. I've read that others didn't find this one interesting, but it looks like it will be good. People aren't really getting tired of procedurals because they have the added bonus that you don't have to watch it every week. NOT CANCELLED.
(c)Miss-Guided - A woman who was a dork in high school goes back as a supposedly confident school counselor. But then her "rival", the once high school "hot chick" gets a job and they both have their eye on the same man. It may be good, but I'm going to say CANCELLED.
(d) Eli Stone - A lawyer turns prophet. While that, spoken, may be a given, this guy actually is supposed to become some sort of man of a god. Sounds preposterous. CANCELLED.
(d) Cashmere Mafia - 4 women on the top of their game in the big city. Lucy Liu is in this one, I think. I hear it's real bad. But of the two(the other being Lipstick Jungle), I think CM will be the one to stay... unless it goes the Kidnapped/Vanished route of last season (both will be cancelled, both the one that is good and the one that is bad because no one will somehow not be able to tell the difference despite being on different channels) NOT CANCELLED.
Shut Up Crazy Internal Editor
Yesterday, I turned in three articles that was due to a local magazine. After struggling for nearly the entire day to write 3-600 word articles, I turned them in feeling I had done the worst writing job I'd ever done. I nearly got onto this blog and complain about how awful a writer I am despite the fact that people actually pay me to write and this morning, I got an email from the editor and she loved my articles. Based on her comments, I keep getting better.
I am astounded.
I am glad.
And I'm astounded again.
What is wrong with me? Are all writers crazy for real? I thought I was borderline normal... well, not normal in the normal sense of the word. I am a bit...something. Okay, so maybe something = crazy, but I never thought I was that something as a writer. Oh, maybe a bit self deprecating although "a bit" may be too soft.
Okay, so I am a stereotypical crazy writer.
I don't know what it is. It is like something in me tries hard to craft sentences (well maybe not here) yet when it's all said and done, I am hardly ever satisfied with the output. I was seriously depressed last night, thinking I would never be good enough to keep writing. Today, I am renewed as if last night never happened. I have to make a promise to myself to never write depressed. It might be worse than drunk dialing.
There is an enormous amount of self pity that exists in my depressed state after I create as I wait for my ideas to be consumed and applauded by the public... It's crazy to put so much of myself into something, even if it's just stating facts about a business, but in my way, and then put that bit of myself out there on display.
Which is blogging, I guess. I mean, I do write for an audience of at least 5. I think that a majority of them care deeply for me and want to know what's going on. Sometimes they want to know what I think. And this is my way of keeping them up. I would be lying if I said I didn't want others to catch the fever for the flavour of the writing of This Girl, but at the same time, I know that I am writing for me and for those 5.
I don't know how to say this, but I love you guys.
Now validate me!
I am astounded.
I am glad.
And I'm astounded again.
What is wrong with me? Are all writers crazy for real? I thought I was borderline normal... well, not normal in the normal sense of the word. I am a bit...something. Okay, so maybe something = crazy, but I never thought I was that something as a writer. Oh, maybe a bit self deprecating although "a bit" may be too soft.
Okay, so I am a stereotypical crazy writer.
I don't know what it is. It is like something in me tries hard to craft sentences (well maybe not here) yet when it's all said and done, I am hardly ever satisfied with the output. I was seriously depressed last night, thinking I would never be good enough to keep writing. Today, I am renewed as if last night never happened. I have to make a promise to myself to never write depressed. It might be worse than drunk dialing.
There is an enormous amount of self pity that exists in my depressed state after I create as I wait for my ideas to be consumed and applauded by the public... It's crazy to put so much of myself into something, even if it's just stating facts about a business, but in my way, and then put that bit of myself out there on display.
Which is blogging, I guess. I mean, I do write for an audience of at least 5. I think that a majority of them care deeply for me and want to know what's going on. Sometimes they want to know what I think. And this is my way of keeping them up. I would be lying if I said I didn't want others to catch the fever for the flavour of the writing of This Girl, but at the same time, I know that I am writing for me and for those 5.
I don't know how to say this, but I love you guys.
Now validate me!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Big Fat TV Nerd Part 1
Last year, I made my predictions about the shows from different networks that would or would not be cancelled. The original page can be found here. This is what I predicted for the 2006 -2007 fall season: (c) = comedy; (d) = drama; (r) = reality
CBS
cbs-2006/2007
(C) The Class - People from the same third grade class are brought together for a surprise reunion. David Crane of Friends and Jeffrey Klarik of Mad About You are involved with this sitcom. Jason Ritter, Sean Maguire, and Lizzy Caplan star. CANCELLED
(D) Jericho - A baffling explosion causes social, psychological, and physical chaos in a small, isolated town. Stars Skeet Ulrich, Erik Knudsen. This could be good, so NOT CANCELLED
(DC) Smith - Diverse crew of career criminals as they plot and carry out high stakes heists at prominent locations. The thing is, the main character wants the one big heist that will set him for life, allowing him to finally retire. Starring Ray Liotta, Virginia Madsen, Simon Baker and Amy Smart. Since I'm really stoked to see this one, NOT CANCELLED. If it turns out anything like Thief, CANCELLED.
(D) Shark - A show about lawyers (duh). Starring James Woods with Spike Lee directing the pilot episode. They're pulling out the big guns and I think James Woods is hit or miss - plus my lack of interest in this show makes me think CANCELLED, but the interest of most people in law shows, especially with a name like Shark could equal NOT CANCELLED.
I'm pretty sure I didn't play fair on this one. So let's first go with what I personally thought. Though I was right about The Class getting cancelled, I was surprised at how much I actually liked the show. Not the first few episodes, but with nothing to watch in that time slot (Prison Break, bah!) it came to be a favourite.
Though Jericho did actually get cancelled, it is being brought back for limited release. The premise for this show was very interesting. I am one of those people who didn't watch. It was boring, long, drawn out, taking forever to bring plot points to their logical conclusions.
The few episodes of Smith I watched, I liked a lot. Although Ray Liotta looked like one good laugh would crack his face, I was interested in the potential and I like what I saw. Too bad it wasn't given a chance.
As for Shark, I was right about how much I would dislike the show. If it were up to me, they would have cancelled Shark and let Smith play at least 13 episodes. I think I might have seen one full episode. I couldn't even bring myself to watch more. But the people liked them somewhat. However, when the new season starts, Shark is not going to be in an enviable time slot.
This year's crop of shows for CBS may be good. Who knows. I think CBS is stepping into the bad side with their line-up. In my opinion, one will be an instant hit, I may actually get into another reality show and I may be about to watch one of my favourite actors fizzle and burn, even though I truly do love musicals.
CBS-2007/2008
(C) Big Bang Theory - Beauty and the geeks. That's all I can see from the previews. There were a few funny moments, but I have the feeling they are along the order of movie previews, a la Rush Hour 3 where all you see are the only funny moments. For me, that's a CANCELLED.
(D) Cane - In the world of rum and cane sugar in Florida, one family reigns supreme. How important is it to keep it that way? Jimmy Smits is in this, which means I will be watching. My first hand review of the previews makes me think that this may be television gold for CBS. NOT CANCELLED
(R) Kid Nation - How will the things we adult do look when it's up to kids to decide. Do we listen to someone because they're popular or cute, or because they have the best ideas? These kids will find out as they get to run their own town. I will be very interested in this show. NOT CANCELLED - unless it's like Pirate Master...
(C?)(D?) - Viva Laughlin - I'm not sure if it's a comedy, which you would only expect since Hugh Jackman sings that he hopes we've guessed his name. Yet there are soft dramatic moments, well at least that's all I could tell from my expert viewing of the previews on CBS.com. It's a musical, it's a drama, it's a mystery, it's Cop Rocks! Except with casinos in a strange part of the country. Will Hugh Jackman or upbeat singing save this show? CANCELLED
(D) Swingtown - Lots of sex, experimentation, drugs... and that's just the parents. What happens in the 60s might should stay in the 60s, but since it didn't, maybe we will enjoy it. It is the story of a very straightlaced family that moves into the right, or wrong, neighbourhood. While the sex-i-ness might win over America, I might have to say CANCELLED.
EDIT:
(D) Moonlight - Immortal vampire is a private detective looking for a reason to live, which is apparently love... finding love... sounds like Fox's New Amsterdam. CANCELLED
I mean, really, CBS, if you wanted to keep our attention, you should have just put CSI:Atlanta and CSI: Chicago into rotation. I know you got 'em.
CBS
cbs-2006/2007
(C) The Class - People from the same third grade class are brought together for a surprise reunion. David Crane of Friends and Jeffrey Klarik of Mad About You are involved with this sitcom. Jason Ritter, Sean Maguire, and Lizzy Caplan star. CANCELLED
(D) Jericho - A baffling explosion causes social, psychological, and physical chaos in a small, isolated town. Stars Skeet Ulrich, Erik Knudsen. This could be good, so NOT CANCELLED
(DC) Smith - Diverse crew of career criminals as they plot and carry out high stakes heists at prominent locations. The thing is, the main character wants the one big heist that will set him for life, allowing him to finally retire. Starring Ray Liotta, Virginia Madsen, Simon Baker and Amy Smart. Since I'm really stoked to see this one, NOT CANCELLED. If it turns out anything like Thief, CANCELLED.
(D) Shark - A show about lawyers (duh). Starring James Woods with Spike Lee directing the pilot episode. They're pulling out the big guns and I think James Woods is hit or miss - plus my lack of interest in this show makes me think CANCELLED, but the interest of most people in law shows, especially with a name like Shark could equal NOT CANCELLED.
I'm pretty sure I didn't play fair on this one. So let's first go with what I personally thought. Though I was right about The Class getting cancelled, I was surprised at how much I actually liked the show. Not the first few episodes, but with nothing to watch in that time slot (Prison Break, bah!) it came to be a favourite.
Though Jericho did actually get cancelled, it is being brought back for limited release. The premise for this show was very interesting. I am one of those people who didn't watch. It was boring, long, drawn out, taking forever to bring plot points to their logical conclusions.
The few episodes of Smith I watched, I liked a lot. Although Ray Liotta looked like one good laugh would crack his face, I was interested in the potential and I like what I saw. Too bad it wasn't given a chance.
As for Shark, I was right about how much I would dislike the show. If it were up to me, they would have cancelled Shark and let Smith play at least 13 episodes. I think I might have seen one full episode. I couldn't even bring myself to watch more. But the people liked them somewhat. However, when the new season starts, Shark is not going to be in an enviable time slot.
This year's crop of shows for CBS may be good. Who knows. I think CBS is stepping into the bad side with their line-up. In my opinion, one will be an instant hit, I may actually get into another reality show and I may be about to watch one of my favourite actors fizzle and burn, even though I truly do love musicals.
CBS-2007/2008
(C) Big Bang Theory - Beauty and the geeks. That's all I can see from the previews. There were a few funny moments, but I have the feeling they are along the order of movie previews, a la Rush Hour 3 where all you see are the only funny moments. For me, that's a CANCELLED.
(D) Cane - In the world of rum and cane sugar in Florida, one family reigns supreme. How important is it to keep it that way? Jimmy Smits is in this, which means I will be watching. My first hand review of the previews makes me think that this may be television gold for CBS. NOT CANCELLED
(R) Kid Nation - How will the things we adult do look when it's up to kids to decide. Do we listen to someone because they're popular or cute, or because they have the best ideas? These kids will find out as they get to run their own town. I will be very interested in this show. NOT CANCELLED - unless it's like Pirate Master...
(C?)(D?) - Viva Laughlin - I'm not sure if it's a comedy, which you would only expect since Hugh Jackman sings that he hopes we've guessed his name. Yet there are soft dramatic moments, well at least that's all I could tell from my expert viewing of the previews on CBS.com. It's a musical, it's a drama, it's a mystery, it's Cop Rocks! Except with casinos in a strange part of the country. Will Hugh Jackman or upbeat singing save this show? CANCELLED
(D) Swingtown - Lots of sex, experimentation, drugs... and that's just the parents. What happens in the 60s might should stay in the 60s, but since it didn't, maybe we will enjoy it. It is the story of a very straightlaced family that moves into the right, or wrong, neighbourhood. While the sex-i-ness might win over America, I might have to say CANCELLED.
EDIT:
(D) Moonlight - Immortal vampire is a private detective looking for a reason to live, which is apparently love... finding love... sounds like Fox's New Amsterdam. CANCELLED
I mean, really, CBS, if you wanted to keep our attention, you should have just put CSI:Atlanta and CSI: Chicago into rotation. I know you got 'em.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Cable vs. Network
Mediaweek says that the big 4 networks have experienced a drop in viewers since the summer season started, while cable has more viewers than ever.
Well, no duh!
Networks are relying on the relatively inexpensive un-scripted shows, like Hell's Kitchen and Big Brother 1 Million, while cable is giving us shows like Burn Notice, Saving Grace, Army Wives, Slice of Life, and Damages, as well as returning shows like The Closer, Monk, Psych, Kyle Xy, The 4400, The Dead Zone, Rescue Me,... right...
Cable is hitting this one out of the park while the networks are stuffing their faces in the stands.
I mean, really, how do you hope to compare your viewership rates with reality and re-runs when cable's putting out brand new stuff that's well written? Yes, I love House and Bones and Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives, but what you're showing now is old news. Is it the new season yet? No?
Then I'm not interested.
There are a few reality shows that I can stand, nay, even enjoy. Hell's Kitchen and Gordon Ramsey's delicious potty mouthed meanness, On the Lot with the silver tongued Garry Marshall, somewhat confusing Carrie Fisher and Adrianna Costa (who I wish I could like but can't because I won't get over her poor clothing and hair choices) and film makers hoping to make it to that mecca that is Steven Spielberg, America's Next Producer, which plays into my love of television and creating for television, and Who Wants To Be A Superhero, which always captures my heart because I like seeing people trying to be better people and better citizens and that's what the competition is all about.
That's it.
What worries me is that the networks will continue to follow this completely unfeasible path. Oh, I know that cable can charge differently, for every viewing of the show, than network tv. And although I hate the re-run path, especially if viewers won't go online to watch or won't buy the show off iTunes, the next best thing is to watch during the summer. Except, if you can watch it in the summer, why can't you just watch during the fall?
In the summer battle, cable is winning. Of course, reality shows are more popular to others than they are to me. Yet even this doesn't make up for the fact that approximately 60% of viewers are tuning networks out and turning to cable for their summer entertainment needs.
But then again, I guess as long as there's something good on, I'll be there.
Well, no duh!
Networks are relying on the relatively inexpensive un-scripted shows, like Hell's Kitchen and Big Brother 1 Million, while cable is giving us shows like Burn Notice, Saving Grace, Army Wives, Slice of Life, and Damages, as well as returning shows like The Closer, Monk, Psych, Kyle Xy, The 4400, The Dead Zone, Rescue Me,... right...
Cable is hitting this one out of the park while the networks are stuffing their faces in the stands.
I mean, really, how do you hope to compare your viewership rates with reality and re-runs when cable's putting out brand new stuff that's well written? Yes, I love House and Bones and Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives, but what you're showing now is old news. Is it the new season yet? No?
Then I'm not interested.
There are a few reality shows that I can stand, nay, even enjoy. Hell's Kitchen and Gordon Ramsey's delicious potty mouthed meanness, On the Lot with the silver tongued Garry Marshall, somewhat confusing Carrie Fisher and Adrianna Costa (who I wish I could like but can't because I won't get over her poor clothing and hair choices) and film makers hoping to make it to that mecca that is Steven Spielberg, America's Next Producer, which plays into my love of television and creating for television, and Who Wants To Be A Superhero, which always captures my heart because I like seeing people trying to be better people and better citizens and that's what the competition is all about.
That's it.
What worries me is that the networks will continue to follow this completely unfeasible path. Oh, I know that cable can charge differently, for every viewing of the show, than network tv. And although I hate the re-run path, especially if viewers won't go online to watch or won't buy the show off iTunes, the next best thing is to watch during the summer. Except, if you can watch it in the summer, why can't you just watch during the fall?
In the summer battle, cable is winning. Of course, reality shows are more popular to others than they are to me. Yet even this doesn't make up for the fact that approximately 60% of viewers are tuning networks out and turning to cable for their summer entertainment needs.
But then again, I guess as long as there's something good on, I'll be there.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Nerd Alert!
There are many times when you make a switch that people ridicule you for. They think you paid too much, or you got too little or you won't be able to do the things that other people do, but this picture sums up, in vision and deed, the vast difference between the mindset of Apple and the mindset of Dell as well as the act itself of setting up and using said machines.Mac kills the Dell.
And, WOW, that Mac is beautiful.
photo courtesy apple.com
ps, if you can't read the print the first is an Apple iMac, the second is the Dell XPS 410.
Harry Potter!
(the above said in the voice of Severus Snape)
THE scarf, Saturday, when I started.
THE scarf, Sunday night. I think it's going to turn out well.
The picture, however, did not turn out as well as I think the scarf will.
This picture turned out better:
THE scarf, Saturday, when I started.
THE scarf, Sunday night. I think it's going to turn out well.
The picture, however, did not turn out as well as I think the scarf will.
This picture turned out better:
Monday, August 06, 2007
Hi, My Name Is This Girl...
and it's been 1 month since I posted on Blogger.
So, some things are going to change, like blog consolidation. Now, all my thoughts on different subjects will be put on Straight, and put into categories. Also, I will write more often. I know I've been promising that for almost 3 years, but now I think I can keep that promise... and if not, I will make it again in a month.
It's almost time for the fall television season and starting tomorrow, I will be giving my network by network synopsis and prediction for the success and failure of the shows this season. I will also recap last season's predictions and tell you 1) whether I was correct for the general population (i.e. shows were actually canceled) and 2) whether I was correct for myself (i.e. shows were taken off of the DVR).
I Saw A Bee
So, the original tomato plant that produced fruit has more tomatoes. They are small. I know they should be bigger. I have two other tomato plants, both heirloom. I am a bit worried that they won't produce fruit, but I saw a bee today. The fact that it played amongst the leaves and went nowhere near the flowers while I watched is not heartening, but if all I have is a beautifully green patio with no actual fruits and vegetables to show for it, I think I will be okay.
Or I might cry.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (no spoilers)
What a great book. After a friend and I finished reading and discussing everything like the crazy nerdly people we are, he sends me a text asking me to make him a Weasley sweater or something so hard, I would have to start on it next year to get the front portion done by next Christmas, so instead, I say I will make a scarf, Gryffindor of course, in a pattern I've seen since I first saw the scarf in the movie. Of course, if I knit on needles of the size required, it would take me as long as it would take to make a sweater to finish. So, larger needles, but a good design. Pictures to come.
I am done with all but one ruffled edge of my blanket for a friend whose baby is edging closer to the one year mark and further from being the right size for this blanket. Which sucks. This design went much slower than I suspected. It is beautiful though. I am proud of it. I'll be even more proud of it when I have a 4th ruffled edge.
In Other News
My house is a wreck. I have been in and out of town for the last couple of weeks. So when I am in the house, I've been catching up on my summer shows, writing and sleeping. I didn't even go to the market Saturday morning and I normally do. I did, however, find a new distributor of fresh eggs, so that's nice.
In a few days, I will have been married 3 years. More on that as the time approaches. I will more than likely reminisce about meeting my husband, the ups and downs of being married, why marriage is not like what I expected and what the Food Network has to do with helping my marriage be healthy.
Apparently, I have a lot of things to write about tomorrow and tomorrow is today.
So here goes... in a little bit.
So, some things are going to change, like blog consolidation. Now, all my thoughts on different subjects will be put on Straight, and put into categories. Also, I will write more often. I know I've been promising that for almost 3 years, but now I think I can keep that promise... and if not, I will make it again in a month.
It's almost time for the fall television season and starting tomorrow, I will be giving my network by network synopsis and prediction for the success and failure of the shows this season. I will also recap last season's predictions and tell you 1) whether I was correct for the general population (i.e. shows were actually canceled) and 2) whether I was correct for myself (i.e. shows were taken off of the DVR).
I Saw A Bee
So, the original tomato plant that produced fruit has more tomatoes. They are small. I know they should be bigger. I have two other tomato plants, both heirloom. I am a bit worried that they won't produce fruit, but I saw a bee today. The fact that it played amongst the leaves and went nowhere near the flowers while I watched is not heartening, but if all I have is a beautifully green patio with no actual fruits and vegetables to show for it, I think I will be okay.
Or I might cry.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (no spoilers)
What a great book. After a friend and I finished reading and discussing everything like the crazy nerdly people we are, he sends me a text asking me to make him a Weasley sweater or something so hard, I would have to start on it next year to get the front portion done by next Christmas, so instead, I say I will make a scarf, Gryffindor of course, in a pattern I've seen since I first saw the scarf in the movie. Of course, if I knit on needles of the size required, it would take me as long as it would take to make a sweater to finish. So, larger needles, but a good design. Pictures to come.
I am done with all but one ruffled edge of my blanket for a friend whose baby is edging closer to the one year mark and further from being the right size for this blanket. Which sucks. This design went much slower than I suspected. It is beautiful though. I am proud of it. I'll be even more proud of it when I have a 4th ruffled edge.
In Other News
My house is a wreck. I have been in and out of town for the last couple of weeks. So when I am in the house, I've been catching up on my summer shows, writing and sleeping. I didn't even go to the market Saturday morning and I normally do. I did, however, find a new distributor of fresh eggs, so that's nice.
In a few days, I will have been married 3 years. More on that as the time approaches. I will more than likely reminisce about meeting my husband, the ups and downs of being married, why marriage is not like what I expected and what the Food Network has to do with helping my marriage be healthy.
Apparently, I have a lot of things to write about tomorrow and tomorrow is today.
So here goes... in a little bit.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Big Frakkin' Spider and other scary things
Courtesy of http://www.fazed.org/content/clock_spider/
If I walked into the house and saw this:
I would not have moved the clock knowing I would reveal this:
In reality, if faced with giant spider legs stick out from behind clock, I would have immediately called movers. I would never set foot in the house again.
And though I know vampires are slightly flamboyant (capes, delicious accents, etc.), mistaking a peacock for one just shouldn't happen.
If I walked into the house and saw this:
I would not have moved the clock knowing I would reveal this:
In reality, if faced with giant spider legs stick out from behind clock, I would have immediately called movers. I would never set foot in the house again.
And though I know vampires are slightly flamboyant (capes, delicious accents, etc.), mistaking a peacock for one just shouldn't happen.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
What Have I Been Up To?
Yay Tomatoes!
I have also been spinning straw into gold... errr, roving into yarn.
I went out the other night with a couple of friends, reconnecting. The Honey went out for the first part, but went home early. It was good, talking to my friends. I haven't done that in a while, just hung out with nothing but enjoyment on my mind.
I'll admit that sometimes I want to hang out so that my husband will meet my friends and will find more that he likes. I am constantly trying to assimilate my husband's idiosyncrasies into my friends' zaniness. That basically means they're all crazy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I've always wanted to just get to the point where my husband says, "Let's hang out with [insert name of friend here]". As I get used to his personality, I loosen up a bit more. I'm alright if he doesn't like anyone, but I'm glad that he's taken to some of my friends.
Speaking of friends, I have a friend situation that I am finally able to let go of. It took a while, a lot of soul searching, and one night out on the town and a few too many shots of tequila (on their half) to see a side of old friends that should really stay hidden. Have you ever met someone whose every action is a lie? I didn't think it was possible to know someone for a couple of years and seem close to them and find out that every moment had been a lie. Well, not every moment, but enough where no "good" memory yields good feelings anymore. I used to reminisce because I remembered how she used to be, but now that I see what she has become outwardly, I am not sure I want to know inwardly, but I guess it's because I remember too.
Memories aren't what they used to be.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Tomatoes
My tomato plant, which has grown taller than me, has finally produced fruit. Only two right now and maybe a few more... I can only hope!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Today, All My Troubles Seem So Near At Hand
Actually, I haven't really had any troubles today. I feel like, for the first time, I may really be getting a handle on my non-writing job. It's refreshing.
As for writing... well...
Today, I talked to one of my teachers. It went really well (so I think, anyway), but something weird happened. As I was getting ready to leave, this old guy with top and bottom teeth missing started talking to me about this "thing" a friend gave him and asked me if I wanted to press a button.
Ummmmm, excuse me? Do I know you?
He was creepy. I don't mean to be a judge by looks kind of person, but this was hard to miss. I had a feeling he was trying to witness to me, that if I pressed the "thing's" button, it would give me a message of hope or something.
Lame.
I mean, first of all, if you have no top or bottom teeth, just try talking to me about God. Don't try to con me into doing something that gets me involved. Because then, you look like a pervert.
A no teeth pervert.
I think they made a film about that.
It's not that I don't want to hear about God. It's just that I want to hear about God from someone I think can articulate. I don't need props. Just ask me a question. As it is, I don't EVER play with things strangers ask me to play with.
I've been feeling extremely hungry. I get sharp, nearly crippling hunger pangs, like my stomach is striking at the rest of my body. I NEED to eat. But then, once I start eating, I feel sick to my stomach. But I have to keep eating because that extreme hunger sensation is still there. I have to eat slowly and take deep breaths so I don't throw up.
And no, I know for a fact that I'm not pregnant.
So what's wrong with me. Monday, when I was driving to return the rental car from our recent trip to North Carolina (conference for me, vacation for The Honey), I literally was forced off the road and to the nearest food source, which in this case was the Waffle House, and ordered food and coffee like a mad person and at like one of those starving children my mom always wanted me to think about. I immediately wanted to throw it up (although, it being waffle house, I didn't associate with my hunger so much as with the grease). All answers will be appreciated.
As for writing... well...
Today, I talked to one of my teachers. It went really well (so I think, anyway), but something weird happened. As I was getting ready to leave, this old guy with top and bottom teeth missing started talking to me about this "thing" a friend gave him and asked me if I wanted to press a button.
Ummmmm, excuse me? Do I know you?
He was creepy. I don't mean to be a judge by looks kind of person, but this was hard to miss. I had a feeling he was trying to witness to me, that if I pressed the "thing's" button, it would give me a message of hope or something.
Lame.
I mean, first of all, if you have no top or bottom teeth, just try talking to me about God. Don't try to con me into doing something that gets me involved. Because then, you look like a pervert.
A no teeth pervert.
I think they made a film about that.
It's not that I don't want to hear about God. It's just that I want to hear about God from someone I think can articulate. I don't need props. Just ask me a question. As it is, I don't EVER play with things strangers ask me to play with.
I've been feeling extremely hungry. I get sharp, nearly crippling hunger pangs, like my stomach is striking at the rest of my body. I NEED to eat. But then, once I start eating, I feel sick to my stomach. But I have to keep eating because that extreme hunger sensation is still there. I have to eat slowly and take deep breaths so I don't throw up.
And no, I know for a fact that I'm not pregnant.
So what's wrong with me. Monday, when I was driving to return the rental car from our recent trip to North Carolina (conference for me, vacation for The Honey), I literally was forced off the road and to the nearest food source, which in this case was the Waffle House, and ordered food and coffee like a mad person and at like one of those starving children my mom always wanted me to think about. I immediately wanted to throw it up (although, it being waffle house, I didn't associate with my hunger so much as with the grease). All answers will be appreciated.
Friday, June 08, 2007
Things About Me
I have an addictive personality. I realized this early on, I guess. Research tells you early on that if you have parents addicted to alcohol or drugs, you may share the same qualities that would cause you to be addicted to things. So I decided to stay away from smoking, drinking, drugs, sex, etc. because I didn't want to be controlled by those things.
But I did not put the brakes on other areas where my addictive personality shows through. Like eating. Now, I'm not as big as a house, but I can put away food. My first and lasting addiction is cheese in all it's various forms. I like cheddar the best, although Parmesan usually peaks its head in. That was followed by an addiction to cheese snacks. Nacho Cheese Doritos, Cheesums Pringles, I once had a year long addiction to the crunchy cheetos. Then it went to cereal. I would go to the local bulk food store and buy Honey Bunches of Oats with Almond cereal. Then I would hide them in my room and eat them when no one else would notice.
Man, I loved that cereal.
That addictive nature has moved into the knitting/spinning/yarn loving arena and the gardening arena. I think I realized this when I had my hands (gloved of course) in pounds of worm compost (worm poop for those of you who don't know) looking for the worms I was using to start my own worm farm. I search the internet for natural ways to kill the vermin that are destroying my strawberries. Out of nowhere, in the middle of completely different conversation, I will go off topic and talk about my garden, as if no other conversation had been going on. I long to get home to my spinning wheel. Someone from the yarn store let me borrow their older wheel, just to see if I like it and I have to say, I like it a lot. There is a lot of peace in the repetitiveness of pumping the treadle, pulling the roving and winding the yarn.
Except for spinning Sunday, I think I will purpose in my heart to finish at least one edge and start on the 3rd edge of my baby blanket, so the little baby cutie will get it while she can still snuggle underneath it.
But I did not put the brakes on other areas where my addictive personality shows through. Like eating. Now, I'm not as big as a house, but I can put away food. My first and lasting addiction is cheese in all it's various forms. I like cheddar the best, although Parmesan usually peaks its head in. That was followed by an addiction to cheese snacks. Nacho Cheese Doritos, Cheesums Pringles, I once had a year long addiction to the crunchy cheetos. Then it went to cereal. I would go to the local bulk food store and buy Honey Bunches of Oats with Almond cereal. Then I would hide them in my room and eat them when no one else would notice.
Man, I loved that cereal.
That addictive nature has moved into the knitting/spinning/yarn loving arena and the gardening arena. I think I realized this when I had my hands (gloved of course) in pounds of worm compost (worm poop for those of you who don't know) looking for the worms I was using to start my own worm farm. I search the internet for natural ways to kill the vermin that are destroying my strawberries. Out of nowhere, in the middle of completely different conversation, I will go off topic and talk about my garden, as if no other conversation had been going on. I long to get home to my spinning wheel. Someone from the yarn store let me borrow their older wheel, just to see if I like it and I have to say, I like it a lot. There is a lot of peace in the repetitiveness of pumping the treadle, pulling the roving and winding the yarn.
Except for spinning Sunday, I think I will purpose in my heart to finish at least one edge and start on the 3rd edge of my baby blanket, so the little baby cutie will get it while she can still snuggle underneath it.
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