There are a lot of good things about being married.
A. Lot.
But one of the bad things is that no one wants to hang out with you. Well, let me correct that. No one knows they can hang out with me. Oh, I am still pretty tied to my husband. I still do a lot with him and we definitely love our alone time. But there are times when I want to be out with others.
I don't have any female friends that I really hang out with. I went to Alabama to hang out with a friend who goes to Auburn and her best friend and we had a really great time. I was glad to visit her, glad to get home, but it made me discover something. I don't have anyone to hang out with here.
With The Honey's work schedule, I have a lot of time to myself. Time to go out. Time to have some fun. Time to do something other than sit at home.
Do you know what I do instead of hanging out? Work late.
Work late, people!!!
That should not be. I should be "out there". I'm relatively young. I probably could stand to lose a few pounds, although I would rather just eat the chocolate cake. Okay, so an oldish, slightly overweight woman wants to go out for a night on the town.
Riiiiiight. Actually, I just want to hang out with a bunch of people who talk about television, books, things going on in the world, conversation that spurs me on to read, to write, and to learn to communicate better. I've been in a fog of conversation, each one as if it were life or death almost. I want to get to a point where I am conversing for fun, laughing and joking.
I feel like I should want to hang out with a gaggle of women. I don't know why I would, but I feel like I should. I have been out with a group of girls before, what feels like a really long time ago. I had female friends once. We went camping together, we talked together and had actual sleep overs. We didn't talk about the intricacies of our wedding days (although, in hindsight for me, we probably should have). We didn't talk about boys (okay, so we did... GOD! I was a girl!). We planned Anti-Valentine's Day parties.
"We" no longer exist.
If I am not with my husband, I am alone. It's a bit daunting, especially when I'm not used to it. Oh, I am typical in that I like being alone. That is the best time for writing, after all. So I'm going to hang out. I'm going to accept invitations I might have turned down. I'm going to try to get in touch with those people I care about and hopefully we can get together.
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4 comments:
I remember.
It's a tough place to be, it really is. It's different for a man. Wholly and completely. But I do remember those times. Like you just sit there sometimes and think, "ok. the hell happened here?"
Make yourself get out, like you said. I'm not social at all and yet, over the past six months, I've been making myself get out there. Even when I didn't want to.
I'm liking it. Small doses, but I'm liking it.
I like it. I've always liked going out, but it definitely has to be with the right people. Lately, I've tried it and it's been a dismal failure, but the other night I went out and for the most part, I think the people I met might turn into friends.
No surprise here, but I do miss the times of "hanging out". It is very difficult as a married couple, and more difficult with children, but when the chance comes our way we attepmt to grab on. I miss being in a location more conducive to being around my hanging out people.
Yeah, ben, we miss you guys too...
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