Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel unsure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Marianne Williamson


I first heard this quote in Coach Carter. It made me pause, cry a little, and pull out my journal with a promise to let my light shine. In the movie, there is no mention of God. So imagine my surprise that the truth of the quote without God was validated (to me) by the truth of the quote including God. There was a certain power to the words, as if God had reached from the television to touch the part of my heart that makes this quote true. I am afraid to push myself to my limits, working to exhaustion, resting when needed, congratulating myself when I succeed, learning from my mistakes when I fail.

I know my biggest fear is failure. I am afraid I am no good, that I am trying to hard for nothing. I am afraid that others will be better than me, nullifying my achievements. I am afraid that I will not learn, I will not grow and therefore, I will die. I fight against it every day, trying my hardest to be innovative. I am also afraid that I will let those around me down. What I am beginning to understand is that I will do all the things I am afraid of, but what I continually find, much to my amazement, is that I do not do them. When I am my most judgemental self, something keeps me from being the disappointment I should be. When I write, it always comes out as something insightful, or funny, or emotional, depending on what I am writing. Others are better than me, but my achievements are still noticed and rewarded and when something I do isn't rewarded, there is still some comfort in finding that I've done my best. No matter what darkness threatens to overtake my efforts, I find that, through no help from me, my efforts avail much. If there is weakness in my actions, the results are momentous. So if my actions are strong, the results my be astounding. That is what, in the end, I am afraid of.