Oh No!

I am in a state of numb shock. In the course of moving from windows to mac, I forgot that I had to get a few things. I couldn't read my files because I didn't have Office on my Mac, so I had to get it. Well, while in pursuit of a word processor, my external hard drive decided to give out on me. I found out later that there was some big technical problem where, although the hard drive normally runs something that supports Windows, OS X, and Linux, at some point my hard drive tried to re-format because of some file sharing something or other, which made it incompatible with my new computer, and I had to re format that hard drive. At first, I just thought a bunch of video that I'd stored on there was gone, but then I realized, with some horror, that all of my writing was also on there. All gone. I felt stupid, shamed, lazy... I could have prevented it all my emailing everything to myself so that my writing would be stored outside of my own hard drives. I could have just pulled all the files onto my new computer just in case something happened to my hard drive -which I would have done if I'd ever thought something would happen to my hard drive. Now, the prospect of writing seems so pointless. How could I let this happen? I don't think I could have been as big an idiot if I'd tried. I'm trying to calm myself by thinking that starting from scratch can do nothing but help, but I had actually outlined a show I wanted to write. I had been working hard on writing short stories, essays... it just really sucks right now, but I couldn't go to sleep until I got it off my chest. Okay, Good night.

Meet my new PowerBook, Mac

I am typing to you from my brand new PowerBook. Yes! I have it! It is in my possession, running my programs, doing just about everything I did before. I love it. It feels so neat to type on it. The key touch is softer, making typing a bit easier. It is smaller, so it's cute. And it loads programs faster than my Dell did. My husband has been looking out for me because when he found this deal, he snatched it up. Anyway, of course I'm finding it a little bit confusing working with a new operating system, but Mac is so nice, he pretty much leads me to everything and anything I don't know, my husband tells me. This has been fun, so far, discovering everything it will do, learning that I've installed a program incorrectly, being able to cheer myself on when I figure something out (go me!)... I'm just having alot of fun right now. Anyway, it is well past time to go to bed. Enjoy your day, everyone.

Okay, We Get It Superdome

As a city that accepted refugees from Katrina, I understand. Finally, the Superdome is able to host the New Orlean Saints and what a celebration you had. U2 and Green Day? Municipal workers on the field? You were finally home and no one on the earth could combat that kind of energy and, in a way, no one would want to. So why did it have to be us? Why did we have to play you in this game? I hate that the Falcons lost, but I'm glad that the Saints get their reopening victory.

What did I do today?

Slept. I took a sleeping pill because I've been having a spot of insomnia. I took it at around 4am. I slept until about 4pm. That was the whole day. I didn't write. I didn't read anything... well, I did a couple of pages of Heart of Darkness. Then we went to Ruby Tuesdays to eat with a couple of friends. One friend just got back from a mission trip. Then we went to the Douglass Theatre to hear Jeff Lang. If you get a chance to hear him play, you should. If you love live music and want to hear a guitar genius/master/virtuoso, you have to hear him play. He's from Australia and he was funny. It was funny watching my husband and his friend listening to him. They're both musicians and they were blown away. His second song in, they both were sat completely back in their chairs, arms pushed straight out with hands on their knees, with equal looks of incredulity. Then they started giggling like little boys. This part lasted a good three songs. It was almost more entertaining for me to watch them (and the rest of the audience) than listening to the music. But the music was awesome. By the way, the Ruby Tuesdays in the mall is going downhill. I remember a time when I used to look forward to going there, getting the black bean and chicken penne pasta dish, salad bar, which was the lord of all salad bars, and just sitting back and enjoying the ambience. Don't get me wrong, it's still a chain, but it was a pretty good one. But tonight, I tasted the worst burger I've ever tasted, the one with the different kinds of good beef ground together. I ordered the turkey burger, but I should have just stuck with the Buffalo Chicken Sandwich with bleu cheese dressing. The bun on my turkery burger was so big, it must have weighed a pound. It was huge! Taste wise, it was okay though.

That was my day. Uninteresting until Jeff Lang, then back to normal. But the sleep was definitely good... of course, that means I won't be going to sleep tonight until after 4am again. Oh well, we'll figure something out.

New Baby

Last night, my husband brought home a new baby. He's not mine yet, but I have high hopes. He had to be cleaned up a bit, we'll probably have to get a new battery, and I'm hoping to get one of those fancy schmancy stands that swivel as well, but I may soon have a brand new used computer.

It's so purty! It's nice and has a grey case and is small. I thought I'd hate a small computer. I'm always looking at the widescreens, but when I was playing with Mac last night (that's his name, Mac), I not only liked it, but it was a great complement to my office because its screen was everything I have now, but it was small enough to see the television screen without stretching or sitting at odd angles. I can watch and type at the same time!

My husband has told me several times which computer it is. It's a 12" Powerbook. If I can find a picture, I'll scrounge it up for you. I'm really excited about it. It's much faster, so I can do all my searching, watching, listening and writing without the irritating lag I've experienced with my Dell. I'm so happy right now... I could cry... but I don't do that.

I'm Sorry

Now that I've become a big time television watcher writer, I act like I don't have time to update you guys. I should have time, as much time as I spend on this computer, but I don't. I think it's just that I don't take the time, like I'm doing now. There is absolutely no reason for anyone to keep coming here if I publish once a month and some of you rely on this site (or my Xanga) to keep up with me. Well, I have to admit, I use Xanga more because a majority of my family is on it, but I will not forget you 3 people who check this site to see what's up.

So, what's up? Not much. We're broke because I'm not making any money. I am choking on finding a paying writing job. What I do know how to get started doing, I don't think I'm ready for it and what I think I could do, I don't know how to break in. I'm just going to have to start failing so that I can get used to the feeling and get over the fear. I am definitely growing in the writing department (with many edits). I am beginning to think again. I know that sounds weird and if I've already written this, I'm sorry you have to hear it again, but I feel like I put my brain on hold for a long time and it's amazing to me that I did it. Now that it's opening up, it's craving reading material. I am reading (bigben, you should get your book back real soon... well, I should be done soon, I don't know how soon we will be up there) more, writing more, having more ideas. The other day, I had other people in my head again, carrying on conversations, almost like I used to have all the time, but these people were too far away for me to hear them and write it down. I am also getting alot of information, learning the things that interest me, trying to keep up with the trends of these interests. The funny thing is I thought of my interests and wrote them down, and when I asked my husband what he thought my interests were, he doubled my list because I just hadn't considered some things I do all the time as true interests. Like food. I love food, finding new recipes, cooking, etc., but I never considered it a write-able interest because I think of it as something I do for us. I want to try different things to increase my skill as a cook, not write about it. But I can write about it, I discovered. It's just things like this that I've always loved and now I get to look at it in a different way.

I'm still getting published in the 11th Hour and Macon Food. I'm writing in MF for Joshua Cup. I'd like to do more promotional writing, maybe write profiles for bands, something like that. I definitely want to write television show reviews, heck, a television show period. I need to find a director who not only loves my writing, but is willing to work with me on any project that I come up with. Of course, this would mean woring extremely hard for no money, so that's why the director has to want it too. I can find the actors, I can find other writers, I can find places to film, I can even find places to show it and if it is well received, even some funding.

Ah well, this day goes well. I've been going to sleep at 6am, which doesn't bode well for getting up at 9am or 10am... or on Wednesdays, 8:30am. I wish I could go to sleep earlier and get up earlier. I still have so much work to do, but most of the day is gone before I get up and then my television viewing and reviewing time comes and that's it until tomorrow. Watching 2-5 shows a night (and writing about them) is alot of work. But it's exciting to me, and when I get comments from people where conversations are sparked, or people just love what I've written, it's awesome for me. Anyway, that's it for today. See you tomorrow!

Happy Anniversary

Star Trek is 40.

Oprah is 20... the show, not the woman. So is Aliens (the movie, not the beings)

I,and Charlie's Angels (again, the television show, not the women, no matter what they wanted us to think at the Emmys), am 30.

To many round numbers.

It's crazy when the things you loved age you. I remember watching Oprah as a youngster. It didn't seem so long ago, a few seasons, but suddenly it's 20 years that she's being doing this. And what have I been doing? Following a dream, long deferred by time or my stubborn indifference. Time is not a shallow river, or slow moving, but swift and dangerous. Will I be safe in the transport I've chosen, or will it be dashed against the rocks, spilling me and all my efforts unmercifully into the rapids? But I'll be alright. I've chosen this course when I could have stayed on the ground. I picked this option when it was put before me. I'll accept the consequences be it journey's end or a bruising soak. There will be no drowning. I've got my life vest and enough sense to hold my breath if I go under.