New Post

Because you've waited long enough.

And by "you" I mean I. I've been working on the next segment of the saga of my life. It sucks that I'm working so hard and all you'll get is whatever comes out in the end. And by you, I mean I.

I'm dealing with a bunch of shite, mainly self imposed, but I'm working on loosening my own mind to let me just be, to learn to grow, to not be so worked up, as I most often am.

My husband and I have a sign for when I'm all worked up. It can happen anywhere. In the car, in the coffee shop, in my home, on the job. It starts with idiots and it always ends with my head exploding (to borrow a phrase from a friend). If my anger was my superpower, my head would be aflame, like Ghost Rider. Okay, the sign is my hands going beside my head and then me miming that my head is catching on fire, complete with the whooshing sounds of a fire catching (that's my favourite part).

Anyway, my journey to look at my spirituality comes at a time when I don't even know what I believe. I mean, I have a few things I'm holding on to, but to let go of the things that I feel has led me so completely off track, I have to go back to the very first time that I began to have a glimpse into something spiritual. I have to replay where it led me, I have to replay where I stepped off of the road. I have to decide if I've even stepped back on. I have to decide if there is even a road.

I'm trying to be completely naked, but there is something about revealing yourself in a way you haven't even revealed to your own self that makes things like blogging risky. I mean, if my mom, God bless her, were to actually find this site (I hear she's emailing now), I'd have a lot of disappointed lecturing to endure (mainly because of this sentence). We already don't agree that the Harry Potter books will go into the annals of history as one of the greatest works of child lit ever.

Well, I have to try to shave a few inches from my thighs. And by "my", I mean you. You know who you are. I'll check in with you all later.