I have been thinking on the subject of friendship a lot lately. I called a person who was once a really good friend and we struggled through our less than 10 minute conversation as if we were strangers. While I still have friends from college and when I moved back home many years ago, the friendships I thought would be the longest lasting have all but dissipated. My husband still has his friends from high school. While they've struggled with continuing to find time for each other in the mess of life, they still do, they still enjoy each others company. With the exception of one friend here, my other good friends live in Atlanta and Miami. While Atlanta is not that far away, in many ways it is a lifetime away. With hectic lives on both sides, making arrangements to hang out doesn't happen as often as we'd like.
So what happens to make relationships disintegrate? How can you be each other's best friends and confidantes one day and the next not even really know the person? I'm prone to think it's a woman thing, because my husband and my guy friends are my only friends. My husbands friends are slowly warming up to me and me to them, but every female friend I have ever claimed as a "best" friend, barring my friend in Miami, has left me in the dust. I am not bitter about this fact, just incredulous, wondering what I do to cause it, if it is my fault, if I am just a poor chooser of friends. I would like to put the blame on myself in some cases. I am the common denominator. But in other cases, even as I claimed friend status, I watched her make and discard friends like tissue paper, and one day, my turn was up. It is hard for me to turn off the "caring for a friend" mode that I've gotten into when friends leave me, but I could stand to see this in a different light.
In other news, babies are being born and are about to be born. Expect presents sometimes before they turn 2.
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5 comments:
Friendship is an ephemeral thing at best. In most cases you have to work at it to keep it going.
Maybe more cookie days would help...
Yeah... the moral of this story is guys rock... its because we have testicles... its true, it works, testicles are cool. oh, yeah, that and guys and girls love in different ways and "brotherhood" is stronger than "sisterhood" (in my opinion) because the fundamental basic primal foundation is that taking you or anyone into my circle means i have to be willing to share pretty completely and willing to live or die for you/them. that 'i have to be able to trust you with my life, my wife, and the fact that i am human' kind of friendship is the kind that you usually develop in your friends (that i have seen) but is rare among women (more of a i love you but we are still in competition kind of thing maybe) because you are looking for different things in people than most women are. just a thought...
rant complete
BigBen
Despite that being only 10 pm, i was exhausted when typing... did that make any sense?
yes, Ben it made sense. Kevin, friendships take a lot of work. I appreciate you for working so hard. Edicius, you already like me. Why should I make more cookies? Just a thought.
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