Friday, December 15, 2006

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.

Kurt Vonnegut wrote that. That's how I feel all the time. Except my crayon is a nub and I need to remove the paper. Frustrating. I know that I've been paid to write and I keep getting assignments, but I feel more like a fraud than I ever have. As I get closer and closer to my goals, I feel as if I am still so far away. Each success begs to be duplicated and brings its own very different fears. I am overwhelmed. I want to quit everything, just stop it, but the thought of doing that is so gut wrenching, and when I actually sit down to put word to page (or type to screen), I am at home. I don't know why this has to be such a combative process, but then, as Will Smith playing Chris Gardner says, it is the pursuit of happiness. I don't want to work this hard, yet when I do it, I love it. Ah well, let me take this crayon and pretend that my work is not a giant cerulean scribble on the screen of life.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Success is merely admirable fraud.

speakeasyx said...

'anonymous' is rather cynical, no?

success is not to be written off by pithy, scholarly quotes. for God's sake, people.

hang in there. it is the work. it is the process. it is all of it and lots of times, all of it sucks. you know i'm with you on this one. keep pushing.

Anonymous said...

You feel like a man all the time?

This Girl said...

cynical, yes, anonymous, but I like it. Maybe that is why the feeling doesn't go away.

Carey - I hear ya!

Kevin - Yes.

Anonymous said...

Welche rührende Wörter:) viagra online viagra rezeptfrei [url=http//t7-isis.org]viagra kaufen g?nstig[/url]

Anonymous said...

Penso che si sbagliano. Sono in grado di provarlo. Scrivere a me in PM, parlare. [url=http://lacasadicavour.com/cialis-generico-online/ ]acquisto cialis generico [/url]Molto utile argomento http://lacasadicavour.com/cialis/ cialis prezzo Si sbaglia. Sono sicuro. Dobbiamo discutere. Scrivere a me in PM, ti parla.

Anonymous said...

[... ] is one relavant source of tips on this topic[...]

Anonymous said...

quite interesting post. I would love to follow you on twitter.

Anonymous said...

Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.

Anonymous said...

buy cheap xanax xanax insomnia - buy cheap xanax overnight