Anniversary Honeymoon

I'm going to be living it up with the man of my dreams, whom I have been married to for almost one blissfully happy year, despite the hurricanes that heralded our union, the lack of a car, the introduction of Pork Chop, and the fact that we may become Macon lifers. Yay marriage! When I come back, I will update you on Pork Chop's Adventure in Babysitting and being a groomsmaid (me, not Pork Chop), possibly all from a new laptop. All that, plus: Who killed Harry Potter? (It's the Half-Blood Prince).

Prescient

The Honey and I have been looking for a church. We have no idea where to start. We go into it saying we aren't looking for a perfect church, but it feels like the things we are looking for we will never find. We left our old church, not out of dissatisfaction with anything in the church or with any of the people. We loved the church. We found that it was too far away to develop relationships. People enjoyed us being there, tears were shed when we announced our leaving, but we didn't know anyone above a superficial level despite going there for almost 2 years.

So, in a town with more churches per capita than any city in the US, why is it so hard to find a church that is right? We are visiting churches where we know noone, we are visiting churches where we know nearly everyone and we are not enjoying it. We almost left one service because my husband, who is the music nerd, could not stand the praise and worship. (This is a man who identified the notes that Batman played to get into the Batcave and also identified that the notes Christian Bale pressed were not the notes we heard.) We liked the sermon, but the people were cool (in the not cool way). Some people greeted us, but were unsure about how to "meet" us, get to know us, convince us that we were in the right place. What did we do though? Did we try to meet new people, find out what this place was all about? No. The general air was one of, "We got what we came from, now back to our regularly scheduled program."

It's something I've noticed and something I've seen in myself. Lately, I've had alot of time to think about me. Where I am going with my writing, who I am becoming as a Wife to The Honey, how I am growing older, how to be a good manager at the milk and cookie store, etc, I've had too much time centered on me. And really, I want to find a church that suits me, whether it suits anyone else. That's the first obstacle in our finding a good church. Every complaint I could have about the people of any church are the same complaints I could level at myself. It would be okay if I at least loved people, if I could find some part of me that could show compassion, if there were something in me that wanted to reach out to others. It's there, but it feels so small sometimes, I think, "why bother."

The second obstacle is time. 5 days a week, we get up at noon to get ready for our night jobs. We don't get to sleep until after 4am. Saturdays are the same, except for the working part. So when Sunday comes, how the heck are we going to get up to be at church by 10? That's another reason why we were having a hard time going to church 45 minutes away. The Honey was in the praise and worship band, so that meant practice at 9 before service at 10:30... you try getting up at 7 to leave at 8 and get there by 9 when you a) commonly get up at noon b)probably only got 2-3 hours of sleep.

It's very daunting to want so much to be a part of a church, a community, but to feel constantly so different from that community. I find myself having to hold my tongue because Christianity is so political now. The Christian powers that be have given us permission to decide we can tell whether someone is Christian or not and it is based solely on their beliefs and views, not on their heart. The only thing man can't judge is the only thing that is important.

I hope we find a church soon. Sometimes, though, I wonder why it's so important.

least metal moment...

We were watching VH1 last night, watching The Greatest: 40 Least Metal Moments... Riki Rachtman was on, a bitter metalhead who lost his show, doesn't know why, looked better when he had a little bit of weight on him, was once fun, but now... not so much. It was a pretty fun show, seeing some of the silly metal moments from the last 20 or so years... like Bon Scott of AC/DC fame playing the recorder; yes, the 6th grade band instrument, as an adult... that was pretty funny. But I have to say that the show itself put forth a least metal moment. It was Moment #8 - In the top 10 of Metal's least favourite moments is the day Metallica cut their hair. In the late 90s when these guys were well into adulthood, they all cried like babies because the gods of metal cut their hair. And now, more than 5 years later, they are crying about it on public television. So not metal. Guys, suck it up and keep thrashing! Who cares if Metallica cut their hair and made rock/pop music. Are you metal musicians or not? Do you not headbang with the best of them? Quit cryin' like a bunch of babies and get over it. It is not the day that will live in infamy. It's over and done with. There are so many more least metal moments you could have complained about without seeming like whiny babies. Like Velvet Revolver.

PS, I really know nothing about music, except I thought the interviewed were being particularly whiny about Metallica (and Bon Jovi) cutting their hair. And that's not metal.

Bad boy, bad boy, whatcha gonna do....

We had a run in with the police last night.

We left the milk and cookie store after 3am. The Honey had just set the cruise to 5 over the speed limit when lights start flashing behind us. Slightly annoyed, I look behind just as the blue lights start flashing. The Honey does all the right things so that he won't get a gun pulled on him, but I'm just annoyed, especially when Cop #2 starts shining his flashlight in the car on the passenger side. That's right, my side.
"Can you tell me why I'm being pulled over?" asks The Honey.
"Did you guys just leave the Goodwill Drop Box?" Cop #1 asks.
"No, we just left the milk and cookie store." Replies the Honey. Point in fact? I am wearing my uniform, which feels like the only thing I've worn in weeks... except for last Saturday, when I was a groomsmaid. But that's another story.
"Can you open your trunk?" Cop #2 has come around to the driver side. Suddenly Cop #1 exclaims;
"This ain't no Skylark!" Cop #2 looks confused (or at least I think he should, but I get only a glimpse from Cop #1's flashlight beam. "Didn't they say it was a Skylark?" he asks again, his nasal whine and southern accent like something Hollywood would have picked for us. They decide that since the trunk is up, they might as well look innit, right? We're not real sure what they hope to find, but if it's a large toaster, a crock pot or other "couldn't find the store they belong to so they've sat in the trunk for a year" wedding gifts, they're looking in the right place. Cop #1 closes the trunk with a decisive bang while Cop #2 speeds away. We were free to go.

I learned today that it is against the law to take things from the Goodwill Drop Box. You can be fined up to $10,000. I'm glad we didn't take anything from Goodwill.

Did you have any doubt?

How weird am I?




54% are more weird,
11% are just as weird, and
35% are more normal than you!

Late Night Thoughts

I've decided to start writing for two hours a day. One of the things I wanted to do was write this blog post. I was trying to come up with something interesting, something that would make you want to come back everyday and read what I write, but all I could come up with was to complain about writing. I sat at my computer for 54 minutes, waiting for inspiration, waiting for something to come to me, something that would be so good that it would spur my writing on for weeks, months, years to come.

Nothing. For 54 freakin' minutes.

I'm going to get Blue Like Jazz. I'm pretty excited to read it. Actually, I'm just writing words to see if something will come out. I finished a short story and someone is critiquing my work. Already, I know that I need to do something with the first half of the story. The last part is interesting, but the first part is boring and that is what will keep me from winning any contest, or keep any short story collection I may write from being successful.

I wonder if I should take up drinking. I wonder if that wouldn't help this entire writing process.

August 14 will be one year married. WOW!

Stay tuned. The adventures of Pork Chop will continue later this week.

My past life?

I don't know how you feel about this, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation. What! This has to be some kind of joke. I'm too not girly to have been female in my last life! You were born somewhere in the territory of modern southern England around the year 1450. So did I live 520 years like some kind of vampire or are they only able to track one last earthly incarnation at a time? Your career was that of a designer, engineer or craftsman. Hmmmm, all jobs I'd picked out for myself when I was 6.

Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Seeker of truth and wisdom. They should have said writer. You could have seen your future lives. I always wanted to be clairvoyant, but apparently that went out of style in my lives when I died at the age of 520. Others perceive you as an idealist illuminating paths to the future. Uh huh, right.

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your lesson is to develop a kind attitude towards people, and to acquire the gift of understanding and compassion. Whoa. Who told you?

Pig Reading Potter

This is Pork Chop. He is visiting his favourite coffee shop to read the new Harry Potter book. Just like everyone else.

Who is the Half Blood Prince?


Page 1 and Pork Chop is so excited!

Pork Chop loved the book. He even cried at the end, but you can't see the tears because there is no way for pigs to eliminate waste so he will roll around in the mud later.

Hmmmm

I concur. Gross.

P.S. If you scroll to the bottom, you can get all the up to the minute information on Britney Spears sent right to email. Yikes.

Geek Test

I finally got around to taking the geek test, especially when I wasn't that much of a nerd. Or that hip. So I might as well try my geekiness. I am 23.27416 geeky. I think if I had known any programming language, it would have pushed me closer to total geek. Or at least gone to Dragon Con. Ah well. You love me anyway.

Not nerdy, but definitely not hip

Sad.

Link from The Honey

Best.Present.ThusFar.

Mike bought us a king sized bed yesterday. This morning at 3am, we went to Wally World to buy king sized bed sheets. We took them home and put them on our king sized bed. Then we went to sleep in our king sized bed and woke this morning refreshed. Neither one of us had awakened in the middle of the night to complain about who was stealing the covers, or who was taking up my side of the bed or who was making whom hot. It was one of the most marvelous waking up experience that I've ever had. But that headboard... we've got to get that thing fixed!

Mandatory Calvin and Hobbes

Snacks. Such a magic word. I have been known to go along with just about anything for the promise of snacks... and elephants. I don't care about riches, glory, and honor, but if you have a nice peanut butter and jelly sandwich or a pound bag of peanut butter M&Ms, now you're talking. Plus, I consistently find it funny the interaction that Calvin has with his stuffed tiger Hobbes. Enjoy!

Let Freedom Ring

My fourth of July weekend was very eventful. Here I have placed an itemized list of things done that weekend.

Batman Begins: (spoilers, maybe)
I.Loved.It. We were supposed to see it a couple of weeks ago. When we got there, the 9 was sold out. I wanted to go to the 10, but he thought it would be better if we got some sleep, plus I had to make sides for the party after church, so we didn't go see it. I got so mad, that he made a vow that he would not see the movie and he would take not seeing the movie to his grave. He had decided against his vow by the next few days, word of mouth on BB was so good. He thought it was okay. I thought it was the best thing since Frank Miller featuring Batman. The previews made me think Christian Bale might not be the man for the job, but the movie proved he was. The direction was definitely Christopher Nolan, camera angles, the jumping from scene to scene. I even liked Katie Holmes, but maybe I was just overwhelmed by sheer Batman-ness. The things that made me laugh out loud in the theatre, causing others to laugh nervously when it went on for far too long, is when the Scarecrow is riding around on the horse, trying to scare everyone and Katie Holmes taser's him (I laughed a good long time at this) and the headline that read, "Drunk Millionaire Burns Down Home". (that one only got a hearty chuckle)

Sunday:
We went back to our old church. We left because it was too far and in the year we've been married (two years going to the church) we have not built quality relationships... It's noone's fault. We live 45 minutes from everyone and we both work nights. So we are going to look for a church closer to home. However, we went last sunday because they asked The Honey to play for them. He went on no sleep. I went on 2 hours of sleep. I felt like merde. (excuse my french) Then we went home and slept until 7 o'clock pm, tried to go eat crablegs, got rejected, ended up eating at O'Charley's, which was okay, then we went home and talked the rest of the night. (sorry, fascinating to me, but boring to you, intimate moment - but I'm documenting here)

The Fourth:
The Honey gets a page from the job. He's supposed to be there at 11:30 (IN THE MORNING!) and it's 11:08. He's gone so fast I miss it. So I sit knitting The Blanket, watching tv and wondering if he's going to come back soon or if I'm going to have to call people so that I can get to a cookout at Dustin's. But he comes home and I get the car. The Cookout was pretty good, but the fireworks was the stuff of legend. Legend as in I'm sure if we had not been there, Dustin would have burned down half the forest out back. We were on a quite open lot with the most garish blue barn you could imagine... No, I mean it, imagine worse. The fireworks were not launched, but they were beautiful nonetheless. Despite the gnats, mosquitoes and various other bugs and pests trying to get into our mouth and eyes, it was a nice night outside. Then some of us sat around and talked for a while and at the end, it was Brian, Dustin and me watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. We decided to watch the 2nd one because we wanted to see the Vanilla Ice dance scene. In the middle of the movie, we started talking about someone who had the last few boyfriends cheat on her when they found out she wouldn't sleep with them. Horrified, I asked if she met these guys in church. We then got into this very serious discussion when all of a sudden we heard the first streams of the Ninja Turtle Dance. All conversations cease as we sing along. (that's what I call priorities!) We were all surprised to see we remembered the dance. Surprised and Ashamed. We talked a bit more about a comedian named Mitch Hedberg (sp?) and then I went to pick up The Honey. Well, the Mitch Hedberg stuff happened after midnight, so I guess that was the end of the fourth Festivities. The weekend was really fun.

Things I learned from this weekend:
1. Taking things to the grave is never a good idea
2. Not getting enough makes you curse in french
3. People named Dustin who work with you should never, ever be given his choice of where fireworks should go off... always point him to the empty field and away from the trees, no matter how hard he cries
4. Old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles still rock (it's still corny, but it still rocks.)

Escape

I took this idea from a co-worker. I now introduce mandatory weekly Calvin and Hobbes. Which may or may not be mandatory or weekly. So enjoy!

I felt like this today. It was a nice day out... hot as Hades and a desert combined... you know, where you feel like you're on fire and sweat is pouring, but there is just a little bit more heat under the surface and just when you think it couldn't be any hotter, it is. Like I said, a nice day. And all I could do was stare out the door, jealous of the people who got to come in then leave. Someone was talking to me and saying that she hated working so much because she missed out on life. She wished she could come to the shop more often. I found myself laughing, wishing I could be less in the middle of everyone else's life. Plus, today, 4 very important people moved back to their hometowns. The girls were missionaries to a youth center and worked with me. I had something to say into each of their lives, a mentor of sorts. I got to really use that Titus "older women teach the younger women" part, although I'm not that much older nor were they that much younger, but it fits. I miss them. I have a beautiful picture and I card that made me cry. So, with about 5 hours of sleep under my belt, 4 friends gone, 3 degrees of heat trying to make me come out of my skin, and a couple of disasters to avert, it really took a few deep breaths to keep me on the job and smiling. And several cups of water.

P.S. This is new, so stop laughing.